- My daughter got bitten by a snake last week. Until I heard the details I was worried. Days before, a friend of ours was bitten by a copperhead in his driveway.
- The Girl wasn’t bitten by a copperhead. The snake was, however, in our house.
- The Boy told me he loves me more than steak. I asked about bacon. He said, “Well, you have to understand that bacon is like my favorite food.”
- We’ve started spending Thanksgiving at the beach. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days anyway, but turkey and dressing taste better oceanfront at sunset.
- We drove to south Florida. It’s not a bad drive if you make it in the average estimated time. If you somehow miss the splitting of I-75 and the Florida Turnpike: game changer.
- Yes there was a GPS in use. When the split happened, we were on a stretch of highway with very, very bad cell phone reception. Our GPS lady temporarily stopped guiding us.
- We crossed Florida once, going from Jacksonville to the Tampa area. By the time we realized our mistake, we’d gotten back to Orlando. I’m sure central Florida is a lovely place. At night, with two tired kids and two even more tired parents, it just isn’t. Knowing your nine-hour trip will now take 12 prompts a quick search for the corkscrew. (Kidding. We waited.)
- If with every minute, your predicted travel time increases by 15 minutes, a slight panic is necessary. Maybe a little cussing, too. Earmuffs, kids. Next year, when we win the lottery, we’re flying. Our overstuffed carful of luggage will take its own plane.
- Last week, someone let their winning lotto ticket go to waste. It expired. Sixteen million dollars went unclaimed. In Tampa, Florida. The irony isn’t lost on me.
- I hear we’re having some of the coldest temps so far this year while we’re away from Augusta. As someone who detests cold weather, I’m not at all sad. I won’t brag about the temperatures in Florida. Let’s just say this: it’s warmer than 78 degrees.
- I don’t mean to offend, but Florida is different from the rest of the United States. There are hundreds of reasons, most of them obvious, but a blanket statement makes the point. It’s not bad, really, just different.
- We did see some 12-ish-year-old girls eating lunch in their itty bitty bikinis yesterday. They were in a restaurant. Florida or not, we would’ve suggested a T-shirt for The Girl. She’s welcome to make her own apparel decisions. If she decides to go to a restaurant in her underwear, she can eat in her bedroom. Her choice.
- Hanukkah is early this year, right? I read that the concurrence of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Depending on the source (or your math skills), the next time this might be possible will be the year 2165. Chag Sameach!
- We don’t have any iDevices or electronics on Christmas lists this year. It’s not that our house is overrun by such things. For some reason, they simply didn’t make the cut. Don’t be too impressed. The Girl’s list includes a Sleep Number bed, a swimming pool and a Jeep Wrangler. Sixteen million dollars in unclaimed lotto winnings, sitting in Tampa.
- Although Facebook makes it seem season-specific, being thankful shouldn’t be. As Valentine’s Day reminds us to love and birthdays remind us to celebrate, Thanksgiving is a good post-it note. Give thanks. Eat, drink and be merry with your people. Cheers, y’all!
While it would be easy to cloud up and rain all over Richmond County Sheriff Richard Roundtree for the ineptitude and ignorance that seems to permeate the upper command’s handling of the newly revealed interdepartmental illegal steroid allegations, it sounds like the problem has been
If you don’t have kids, you might think I’m crazy for bringing this up. Hell, most of you probably think I’m crazy anyway. Back to what I was saying. If you don’t yet have kids but are planning a family, or if your children are young and overwhelming, hear me out. Go on dates with […]
Okay, time to wrap it up. For this next and last installment of “Josh Geeks Out Over Horror Films Just Because It’s Halloween,” I’m tackling the awkward, gothic, endearingly kitschy “The Ninth Gate,” a film that answers the question: What happens when a temperamental man-child actor has an
It appears a substantial number of local conservatives say they are voting for Democrat challenger Jason Carter because they are angry that the Republican incumbent governor of Georgia “allowed” Dr. Ricardo Azziz to run amok in the process of the consolidation of our local colleges,
There’s something I do often, and it makes my husband mad. I have friends who make fun of me, because they think it’s ridiculous. I’m a chronic over-tipper. It probably started in college. When we’d go to bars, they’d ring a bell if someone gave a good tip. I loved hearing that bell ring.
When I first watched “Don’t Look Now,” I was in the midst of a singular period in my life. About two thirds of the way through graduate school, I was respected by my students and my professors alike, had a little money and had managed to wrangle a few publications onto my curriculum vitae. With
At the beginning of this month, I promised to include a horror movie review with each week’s column. The next week I missed my deadline. The week after, I forgot to include it. Fail. This week, I’m playing catch-up. Here are three horror movie reviews: 1. “The Grudge”: I’ve seen “The Grudge” at
Talk about a bombshell! The town has been abuzz since Tracey McManus’ well-written expose centering on serious sexual abuse allegations against Augusta’s local NAACP President Charles Smith ran over the weekend. The two part Augusta Chronicle article took several months to put
…but don’t worry: I’m not changing my loyalty. I still love my Dawgs. Part of my heart will forever live in Athens, Georgia, with its bars, restaurants, shopping, historic downtown and gorgeous campus. As a student, I went to just about every home game and many away ones. Not only that,
When I was a kid — not just a grown man with the mind of a kid — some production company who I really hope is out of business by this point would advertise, on TV and during daylight hours, VHS tapes that were nothing more than animals attacking and killing other animals. Granted, none […]
Sometime during the summer of 2014, a group passionately opposed to the rising use of drones conducted a highly secretive meeting. Attendees to this meeting flew in from all over the country and represented a broad cross-section of the flying population. The problem is clear. The prevalence of
In case you didn’t notice, last week my column was not a part of the Metro Spirit. It wasn’t omitted on purpose. It wasn’t because of content or room. I simply forgot to write it. Yep. Forgot. I forgot because I was moving. The wife and I bought our first home recently and you would […]
Oh, hey Halloween. It’s been, what, 11 months or so since you last stopped by to make me feel inadequate? Great. Welcome back, except not really. You’re not all bad, I suppose. A quick, informal poll of my Facebook friends tells me that fellow parents really like that you encourage thoughtful,
If Tameka Allen was not qualified to be Augusta’s new administrator, you have to wonder how she is expected to pull off the greatest magic act in recent governmental history. Commissioners this week rejected a $1.2 million energy excise tax aimed at local industry, yet still demand that
Looking for something to do next weekend? You don’t have to train for it, and it won’t even take all day. If you give up a few hours of your Saturday, you could save the life of a woman in our community. Makes you feel powerful, right? It’s easy. The Miracle Mile Walk, which is […]
How does the old saying go… it’s not easy being green. Well, it turns out if you really want to get snubbed, try being the number 9. You wouldn’t think that it would be that way. The number 9 has had a great run over the years. For example… Number 9 is the largest single […]
I am sure there are one or two issues somewhere out there that Rick Allen and I disagree on, but hand to Heaven I could not tell you what they are. Most definitely there are conservative positions that I wish he would take a more aggressive stand representing and defending, but I have always
You’ll forgive me if this column seems a little scattered — yeah, even more so than usual, which is, okay, kind of inexcusable. I ran 18 miles yesterday, which lots of people do every day, for some reason, but it was my first time, and so now each individual part of my body is telling […]
Algebra is still dumb. I can focus on my studies much more now, as college was more of a social gathering for me in my late teens/early 20s. Keeping up with classes while simultaneously running a business, caring for three kids and moving is quite a task. Online classes are more demanding than