15 in 5

Because I love a list. Especially a random list.

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15 in 5
  1. What a year it’s been. Through the good and bad, the funny and well, not-so, we made it. All of us. At least we can say that much. Let’s review.
  2. The Beer Fest was people-watching at its best. My favorite story of the day (well, that I can share here) was when a man was trying to convince his wife to try a new beer. “Honey, you should try Yeungling Light! You love Miller Lite, so I think you’ll like this one just fine.” I’m not judging anyone’s taste in beer, you see. It’s just that there were so many other choices. Over 50 breweries were represented there. If I wanted something I could pick up at the jiffy store, I’d have picked it up at the jiffy store and saved the $40 entrance fee. That’s all I’m saying. (January)
  3. Once again, The Kids brought store-bought Valentines to their friends at school. They cost $1 a box on sale at Walgreens. If The Kids are happy, I am too. We did splurge and buy Fun Dip to give out as well. The trend of handmade Pinterest inspired Valentines seems to be waning. We only got one this year. It was appreciated, but not anymore than the Transformers hologram or Hello Kitty tattoo. (February)
  4. After a friend mentioned that she was giving up yelling during Lent, I thought that might be good for us. We don’t yell all the time, and it’s certainly not our only way of communicating with our kids, but it’s the most effective. Just the other day, everyone was taking their time eating breakfast before school. I hate the morning rush, but if we’re going to get to school on time, The Kids need a nudge. I asked, “Can y’all please hurry? You can still talk to each other, but make sure we’re in forward motion.” I used a friendly, patient tone. I repeated the same thing, in the same tone at least 10 times. Once I was ready to leave the house, they (of course) were not. I used a more, uh, forceful tone, and they finished almost immediately. (February)
  5. The other day, my tennis team had a match at Newman Tennis Center. When we arrived, after parking in the upper lot between the courts and Forest Hills Golf Course, we were asked to move our cars or be towed. We have always parked there. I understand that Forest Hills GC is a sort of private facility (run by the city?), I really do. I also understand that Newman is a city owned facility. It was Wednesday morning at 9 a.m. Those parking spaces weren’t in high demand. I’m sure there’s a “good” reason for this, but to me, it looks like silliness. When we asked the Newman employee about it, she said she didn’t “know why, but they would definitely tow our cars.” If it had been a Saturday morning or Masters Week, the spaces might have been needed by FHGC. It wasn’t, though. We needed approximately eight spaces. Instead, we moved our cars across the nearly empty parking lot. Talk about pedaling the bike backwards. Seriously, Augusta. (March)
  6. Unfortunately, the face of the Boston marathon has changed forever. Athletes who once ran with optimism and pride will always have fear. The race, which has a deep history, continuing through two World Wars, will now be a memorial. Patriot’s Day, a great day of celebration in Boston, will be a sad day of remembrance. (April)
  7. I’m thankful for the teachers who protect and comfort their students when tragedy strikes. Parents and grandparents relinquish control and care every day, and you stand up to the challenge. (May)
  8. I hate to even bring it up, since he hasn’t been convicted yet. But I will. The accused flasher story is so weird, Augusta. It was one thing for him to have shown his bits once. Turns out he may have done it several times, in several counties. Yuck. Hey buddy? If we wanted to see it, we’d ask. From what I’ve heard, it might’ve been hard to see anyway. Even if you didn’t do it, you’ve done something to make people think you’re sketchy. Here’s some advice. Stop THAT. Whatever it is. (July)
  9. Did you know that people are having Stock the Dorm parties? They register and everything. On the invitation, it lists the link to their registry. It’s like a wedding, only crappier. Um, if you need a prettier dorm, either get a job or deal with a set of 200-thread-count sheets. (August)
  10. I’d teach you how to make vodka watermelon, but I don’t want to influence any underage people out there. You can probably guess the recipe, but there IS a secret ingredient. (September)
  11. When your boy asks, “Are you fascinated by penises?” You’d better hope you aren’t distracted, ‘cause he could really mean “phoenixes,” as he’s been studying Greek mythology in his spare time. Pay attention; you’d hate to go down an unnecessary road. (September)
  12. Did you know Augusta hosts the largest Half-Ironman in the world? Nearly 3,500 athletes and their trainers and families were here. Many of the remarked about what a great place we have, and how there’s such potential. Let’s make it happen. (October)
  13. I saw that there are now sexy costume versions of just about anything. One can go dressed as the always in demand sexy slice of pizza or ketchup bottle. Or when it’s sexy, is it catsup? I came across a sexy skunk costume, too. Nothing turns a man on more than a woman who sprays a foul odor from her glands. (November)
  14. I don’t mean to offend, but Florida is different from the rest of the United States. There are hundreds of reasons, most of them obvious, but a blanket statement makes the point. It’s not bad, really, just different. (December)
  15. Please remember that New Year’s Eve is amateur night. Find a sober driver and be safe. Glad tidings and peace to you and yours, y’all. Love your people, people. Cheers.