- When your son puts on a suit for the first time, it’s a big deal. If you see him shaking the groom’s hand, congratulating him on such a lovely wedding, grab the tissues.
- Even though you okayed having her ears pierced, you’ll cry.
- For the moms out there who hate me for changing my “You have to be 10 before your ears will be pierced” rule, The Girl broke a terrible habit of biting her fingernails. I gave her a goal that meant something, and she did it. She deserved earrings.
- Once you give the go-ahead, there’s no talking an excited, almost-eight-year-old out of piercing her ears. When the piercer has shaky hands and can’t draw the purple dot on your daughter’s lobe, don’t panic. Do ask for another employee to come make sure the dots are symmetrical. If all goes well, these holes will be there, like, forever.
- When she goes to squeeze that little gun (yes, just one at a time because the other one is broken) try and ignore the tears of your already nervous babygirl when the piercer struggles bit. Let’s just say it wasn’t “quick” like taking off a band-aid or something.
- When the same babygirl cries because they still have to do the other ear, employ her brother and friends to entertain her. It won’t work, but you’ll feel better. Summon that backup employee again.
- When you see how different she looks with earrings, you might regret it, but her satisfaction from earning such a big prize is worth it. You’ll be proud, too.
- When you walk past a mirror anytime for, say, the next week or so, she will stop and admire herself in the mirror. She’ll make comments about being beautiful. When you’re tempted to remind her that earrings don’t make a person pretty, and it’s what’s on the inside that counts, stop. Let her have this one.
- As for the employee at the mall ear piercing place, can you practice on a steak or something?
- To the guy, um, making himself happy next to the tennis courts at our match the other day. You are nasty. When we yelled, “someone call the police!” we weren’t bluffing. The police came. We have your number. I beg you to come back, but not because I want to see you again. The next time, you won’t get away.
- If you live anywhere north of Georgia, you laugh when we shut down because of possible impending wintry mixes. To us, it’s no joke. We don’t have snow plows or winter clothes. Why would we? This happens to us once a year, if that. I’m not buying my quickly growing children snow pants and winter boots. You win. Your winter is colder. I don’t want your winter.
- Rain boots are southern snow shoes.
- Fact: people drink more milk when it snows. It’s a tie between eggs and bread for most popular snack. I’m not buying it. I go straight for the wine and dark chocolate.
- No matter what you think about how we react to snow, know this: We think it’s that cool, every single time. We’ll make snow angels out of a dusting and post pics on Instagram.
- There’s a button in my car that says SNOW. I’m not exactly sure what its intended purpose is, but I pushed it. It snowed. My children think I’m magic. I’m goin’ with it. Cheers!
It appears a substantial number of local conservatives say they are voting for Democrat challenger Jason Carter because they are angry that the Republican incumbent governor of Georgia “allowed” Dr. Ricardo Azziz to run amok in the process of the consolidation of our local colleges,
There’s something I do often, and it makes my husband mad. I have friends who make fun of me, because they think it’s ridiculous. I’m a chronic over-tipper. It probably started in college. When we’d go to bars, they’d ring a bell if someone gave a good tip. I loved hearing that bell ring.
When I first watched “Don’t Look Now,” I was in the midst of a singular period in my life. About two thirds of the way through graduate school, I was respected by my students and my professors alike, had a little money and had managed to wrangle a few publications onto my curriculum vitae. With
At the beginning of this month, I promised to include a horror movie review with each week’s column. The next week I missed my deadline. The week after, I forgot to include it. Fail. This week, I’m playing catch-up. Here are three horror movie reviews: 1. “The Grudge”: I’ve seen “The Grudge” at
Talk about a bombshell! The town has been abuzz since Tracey McManus’ well-written expose centering on serious sexual abuse allegations against Augusta’s local NAACP President Charles Smith ran over the weekend. The two part Augusta Chronicle article took several months to put
…but don’t worry: I’m not changing my loyalty. I still love my Dawgs. Part of my heart will forever live in Athens, Georgia, with its bars, restaurants, shopping, historic downtown and gorgeous campus. As a student, I went to just about every home game and many away ones. Not only that,
When I was a kid — not just a grown man with the mind of a kid — some production company who I really hope is out of business by this point would advertise, on TV and during daylight hours, VHS tapes that were nothing more than animals attacking and killing other animals. Granted, none […]
Sometime during the summer of 2014, a group passionately opposed to the rising use of drones conducted a highly secretive meeting. Attendees to this meeting flew in from all over the country and represented a broad cross-section of the flying population. The problem is clear. The prevalence of
If Tameka Allen was not qualified to be Augusta’s new administrator, you have to wonder how she is expected to pull off the greatest magic act in recent governmental history. Commissioners this week rejected a $1.2 million energy excise tax aimed at local industry, yet still demand that
Fair warning: I love horror movies. No matter what time of year it is, if I’m flipping channels, I will come to a full stop on whichever one might be playing, no matter the channel, and certainly no matter the quality or subject matter of the film. I’m excluding the “Twilight” franchise here,
Looking for something to do next weekend? You don’t have to train for it, and it won’t even take all day. If you give up a few hours of your Saturday, you could save the life of a woman in our community. Makes you feel powerful, right? It’s easy. The Miracle Mile Walk, which is […]
How does the old saying go… it’s not easy being green. Well, it turns out if you really want to get snubbed, try being the number 9. You wouldn’t think that it would be that way. The number 9 has had a great run over the years. For example… Number 9 is the largest single […]
I am sure there are one or two issues somewhere out there that Rick Allen and I disagree on, but hand to Heaven I could not tell you what they are. Most definitely there are conservative positions that I wish he would take a more aggressive stand representing and defending, but I have always
1. This is a great time of year. I don’t want to hear any of you complain about the weather or lack of things to do in the CSRA. I’m sure the “Augusta Sucks All the Time No Matter What” people will still find something to moan about, but they’re probably sitting on their couch […]
You’ll forgive me if this column seems a little scattered — yeah, even more so than usual, which is, okay, kind of inexcusable. I ran 18 miles yesterday, which lots of people do every day, for some reason, but it was my first time, and so now each individual part of my body is telling […]
If anything can go wrong, it will. — Murphy’s Law This simple phrase is by far the most important axiom in engineering and, for that matter, any technical field. At its core, Murphy’s Law depicts a very cynical and cruel view of how the world works. Nature itself is portrayed as man’s adversary
No one was shocked or surprised when Richard Roundtree took over as Richmond County sheriff that he installed his former boss from the Richmond County BOE Public Safety Department Pat Clayton as his chief deputy. It was the first time that anyone can remember a sheriff going outside the
The history of science is littered with periods where a grand consensus of individuals champion incorrect theories. For nearly 2,000 years, no one challenged Aristotle’s “statement of fact” that heavier objects fall faster. Galileo disproved that during the 16th century. How about the absolute
The Girl had her first major run in with a mean girl last week. We knew she would be fine, but, for a few days, she was deeply hurt by the actions of her classmate. She was forgiving but not sure they’d be friends. I think that’s fair. People asked if I wanted her moved […]
My family got a surprise visit recently. It happened two Sundays ago. It was my daughter’s birthday. I’m enjoying the opening series of what would end up being a harsh Falcons loss to the Bengals… *Bing* My wife’s text alert goes off. “Uhhhhhhhhh,” she says. I bite. “What?” She continues, “Bio