- When your son puts on a suit for the first time, it’s a big deal. If you see him shaking the groom’s hand, congratulating him on such a lovely wedding, grab the tissues.
- Even though you okayed having her ears pierced, you’ll cry.
- For the moms out there who hate me for changing my “You have to be 10 before your ears will be pierced” rule, The Girl broke a terrible habit of biting her fingernails. I gave her a goal that meant something, and she did it. She deserved earrings.
- Once you give the go-ahead, there’s no talking an excited, almost-eight-year-old out of piercing her ears. When the piercer has shaky hands and can’t draw the purple dot on your daughter’s lobe, don’t panic. Do ask for another employee to come make sure the dots are symmetrical. If all goes well, these holes will be there, like, forever.
- When she goes to squeeze that little gun (yes, just one at a time because the other one is broken) try and ignore the tears of your already nervous babygirl when the piercer struggles bit. Let’s just say it wasn’t “quick” like taking off a band-aid or something.
- When the same babygirl cries because they still have to do the other ear, employ her brother and friends to entertain her. It won’t work, but you’ll feel better. Summon that backup employee again.
- When you see how different she looks with earrings, you might regret it, but her satisfaction from earning such a big prize is worth it. You’ll be proud, too.
- When you walk past a mirror anytime for, say, the next week or so, she will stop and admire herself in the mirror. She’ll make comments about being beautiful. When you’re tempted to remind her that earrings don’t make a person pretty, and it’s what’s on the inside that counts, stop. Let her have this one.
- As for the employee at the mall ear piercing place, can you practice on a steak or something?
- To the guy, um, making himself happy next to the tennis courts at our match the other day. You are nasty. When we yelled, “someone call the police!” we weren’t bluffing. The police came. We have your number. I beg you to come back, but not because I want to see you again. The next time, you won’t get away.
- If you live anywhere north of Georgia, you laugh when we shut down because of possible impending wintry mixes. To us, it’s no joke. We don’t have snow plows or winter clothes. Why would we? This happens to us once a year, if that. I’m not buying my quickly growing children snow pants and winter boots. You win. Your winter is colder. I don’t want your winter.
- Rain boots are southern snow shoes.
- Fact: people drink more milk when it snows. It’s a tie between eggs and bread for most popular snack. I’m not buying it. I go straight for the wine and dark chocolate.
- No matter what you think about how we react to snow, know this: We think it’s that cool, every single time. We’ll make snow angels out of a dusting and post pics on Instagram.
- There’s a button in my car that says SNOW. I’m not exactly sure what its intended purpose is, but I pushed it. It snowed. My children think I’m magic. I’m goin’ with it. Cheers!
So you’re moving across the roof of the 11-story Marriott hotel with a girl in a Wonder Woman costume and a ninja named Oz when all of a sudden you’re passed off to the final expert in a long line of experts prepping you for your journey over the edge of the building. She’s
While it would be easy to cloud up and rain all over Richmond County Sheriff Richard Roundtree for the ineptitude and ignorance that seems to permeate the upper command’s handling of the newly revealed interdepartmental illegal steroid allegations, it sounds like the problem has been
If you don’t have kids, you might think I’m crazy for bringing this up. Hell, most of you probably think I’m crazy anyway. Back to what I was saying. If you don’t yet have kids but are planning a family, or if your children are young and overwhelming, hear me out. Go on dates with […]
Halloween is here and it is one of my favorite holidays of the year. Anyone who knows me knows that I only eat candy corn during the month of October. And I eat lots of it! There is an exception: If the candy corn was acquired while trick-or-treating then it can be consumed in November. […]
It appears a substantial number of local conservatives say they are voting for Democrat challenger Jason Carter because they are angry that the Republican incumbent governor of Georgia “allowed” Dr. Ricardo Azziz to run amok in the process of the consolidation of our local colleges,
There’s something I do often, and it makes my husband mad. I have friends who make fun of me, because they think it’s ridiculous. I’m a chronic over-tipper. It probably started in college. When we’d go to bars, they’d ring a bell if someone gave a good tip. I loved hearing that bell ring.
When I first watched “Don’t Look Now,” I was in the midst of a singular period in my life. About two thirds of the way through graduate school, I was respected by my students and my professors alike, had a little money and had managed to wrangle a few publications onto my curriculum vitae. With
So what does one do while you’re waiting for the new Apple OS to download on a Sunday evening? There are several things, actually. You could hunker down in your man cave and watch Sunday Night Football. You could review all the email that came in over the weekend. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram —
Talk about a bombshell! The town has been abuzz since Tracey McManus’ well-written expose centering on serious sexual abuse allegations against Augusta’s local NAACP President Charles Smith ran over the weekend. The two part Augusta Chronicle article took several months to put
…but don’t worry: I’m not changing my loyalty. I still love my Dawgs. Part of my heart will forever live in Athens, Georgia, with its bars, restaurants, shopping, historic downtown and gorgeous campus. As a student, I went to just about every home game and many away ones. Not only that,
When I was a kid — not just a grown man with the mind of a kid — some production company who I really hope is out of business by this point would advertise, on TV and during daylight hours, VHS tapes that were nothing more than animals attacking and killing other animals. Granted, none […]
Sometime during the summer of 2014, a group passionately opposed to the rising use of drones conducted a highly secretive meeting. Attendees to this meeting flew in from all over the country and represented a broad cross-section of the flying population. The problem is clear. The prevalence of
In case you didn’t notice, last week my column was not a part of the Metro Spirit. It wasn’t omitted on purpose. It wasn’t because of content or room. I simply forgot to write it. Yep. Forgot. I forgot because I was moving. The wife and I bought our first home recently and you would […]
Oh, hey Halloween. It’s been, what, 11 months or so since you last stopped by to make me feel inadequate? Great. Welcome back, except not really. You’re not all bad, I suppose. A quick, informal poll of my Facebook friends tells me that fellow parents really like that you encourage thoughtful,
Fair warning: I love horror movies. No matter what time of year it is, if I’m flipping channels, I will come to a full stop on whichever one might be playing, no matter the channel, and certainly no matter the quality or subject matter of the film. I’m excluding the “Twilight” franchise here,
Looking for something to do next weekend? You don’t have to train for it, and it won’t even take all day. If you give up a few hours of your Saturday, you could save the life of a woman in our community. Makes you feel powerful, right? It’s easy. The Miracle Mile Walk, which is […]
How does the old saying go… it’s not easy being green. Well, it turns out if you really want to get snubbed, try being the number 9. You wouldn’t think that it would be that way. The number 9 has had a great run over the years. For example… Number 9 is the largest single […]
1. This is a great time of year. I don’t want to hear any of you complain about the weather or lack of things to do in the CSRA. I’m sure the “Augusta Sucks All the Time No Matter What” people will still find something to moan about, but they’re probably sitting on their couch […]
You’ll forgive me if this column seems a little scattered — yeah, even more so than usual, which is, okay, kind of inexcusable. I ran 18 miles yesterday, which lots of people do every day, for some reason, but it was my first time, and so now each individual part of my body is telling […]