- When your son puts on a suit for the first time, it’s a big deal. If you see him shaking the groom’s hand, congratulating him on such a lovely wedding, grab the tissues.
- Even though you okayed having her ears pierced, you’ll cry.
- For the moms out there who hate me for changing my “You have to be 10 before your ears will be pierced” rule, The Girl broke a terrible habit of biting her fingernails. I gave her a goal that meant something, and she did it. She deserved earrings.
- Once you give the go-ahead, there’s no talking an excited, almost-eight-year-old out of piercing her ears. When the piercer has shaky hands and can’t draw the purple dot on your daughter’s lobe, don’t panic. Do ask for another employee to come make sure the dots are symmetrical. If all goes well, these holes will be there, like, forever.
- When she goes to squeeze that little gun (yes, just one at a time because the other one is broken) try and ignore the tears of your already nervous babygirl when the piercer struggles bit. Let’s just say it wasn’t “quick” like taking off a band-aid or something.
- When the same babygirl cries because they still have to do the other ear, employ her brother and friends to entertain her. It won’t work, but you’ll feel better. Summon that backup employee again.
- When you see how different she looks with earrings, you might regret it, but her satisfaction from earning such a big prize is worth it. You’ll be proud, too.
- When you walk past a mirror anytime for, say, the next week or so, she will stop and admire herself in the mirror. She’ll make comments about being beautiful. When you’re tempted to remind her that earrings don’t make a person pretty, and it’s what’s on the inside that counts, stop. Let her have this one.
- As for the employee at the mall ear piercing place, can you practice on a steak or something?
- To the guy, um, making himself happy next to the tennis courts at our match the other day. You are nasty. When we yelled, “someone call the police!” we weren’t bluffing. The police came. We have your number. I beg you to come back, but not because I want to see you again. The next time, you won’t get away.
- If you live anywhere north of Georgia, you laugh when we shut down because of possible impending wintry mixes. To us, it’s no joke. We don’t have snow plows or winter clothes. Why would we? This happens to us once a year, if that. I’m not buying my quickly growing children snow pants and winter boots. You win. Your winter is colder. I don’t want your winter.
- Rain boots are southern snow shoes.
- Fact: people drink more milk when it snows. It’s a tie between eggs and bread for most popular snack. I’m not buying it. I go straight for the wine and dark chocolate.
- No matter what you think about how we react to snow, know this: We think it’s that cool, every single time. We’ll make snow angels out of a dusting and post pics on Instagram.
- There’s a button in my car that says SNOW. I’m not exactly sure what its intended purpose is, but I pushed it. It snowed. My children think I’m magic. I’m goin’ with it. Cheers!
I’m doing my best to focus. I know I should be covering and dismantling whatever nonsense the GOP candidates are saying right now — speaking of, go and read Hillary Clinton’s response to Mitch McConnell saying that she’s “playing the gender card;” it’s glorious — but, at least for these couple
Okay, so this is the type of craziness that bugs a lot of people. Of all documents, I can think of no other publication that justifies being in the public domain more so than the set of laws and regulations we use to govern ourselves. Developed by elected representatives at the expense of
I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt here. I want to assume positive intentions. It’s likely there wasn’t any malicious intent, but because of recent debates, I’m sensitive. Maybe I’m confused. Are we supposed to be taking our kids out to eat or not? I know it’s entirely up to me,
Saturday, as my youngest son, No. 4, was parking his bike behind my car in the driveway, it fell. I watched it from the upstairs bedroom and thought, “I’m going to forget it’s there in the morning and run it over, I just know it.” Surprisingly, I was wrong. I didn’t run it over because […]
Nine months after I broke the news that there was a major steroids scandal brewing for the Richmond County Sheriff’s Department, we are still waiting for the complete report prepared by the GBI to be released. It has been in the hands of Augusta District Attorney Ashley Wright since early
Josh Ruffin is off for the week, so please enjoy one of his columns for last July. After about 15 years’ procrastination, I’m finally reading “The Stand.” I’m not sure why I resisted actually tackling the book for so long. Its length doesn’t bother me; I’ve read denser stuff in graduate
We hear it all the time: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I call bull honkey. Total crap. It’s like the advice they (the royal they, with all the answers) give brides when it rains on their wedding day. “They say it’s good luck if it rains on […]
Lately around my house, you’ve heard a lot of talk about the Gorilla, the Manx Missile and the Terminator. No, they are not the latest Marvel superheroes to appear in a summer blockbuster. The biggest bicycle race in the world is occurring, and our family huddles around the TV every evening
An interesting study came out a few months ago from a group called the Equal Justice Initiative based in Montgomery, Alabama. The detailed report, “Lynching In America: Confronting The Legacy of Racial Terror,” involved the history of lynchings in our corner of the United States,
I had to do something today that I never like doing. However, I do it at least once a year. I put two of my kids on a plane to fly across the nation for a couple of weeks. It was No. 2 and No. 3, the step-version of my kids. They have grandparents, aunts, […]
I have only vague memories of my own desires before the age of 14. These, largely, are my assumptions: that I wanted little more than to play video games, watch baseball and drink blue Kool Aid. There was also something ephemeral involving girls, but I didn’t — and, to a greater extent that I’d
We took the kids to sleepaway camp a few weeks ago. We dropped them off, in the middle of Alabama, with a bunch of complete strangers in the middle of the woods. They loved it. Growing up, I had friends who went to camp, but I never went. Well, unless you count Chuck Kriese Tiger […]
The idea for Southbound Smokehouse has been a long time in the making. The restaurant itself? Well, that came together in record time. “I didn’t know how we were going to do it, but we put it together in less than two months, which is just crazy,” said co-owner George Claussen. “I still don’t
In recognition of last week’s U.S. Supreme Court decision recognizing the right of gays to marry nationwide, I submit my original “coming out” declaration, which first appeared in these pages in January of 2013. Two and a half years later, I am still proud to have written it and prouder still
I’m trying to figure out why the Dairy Queen behind Daniel Village decided to renovate in the middle of summer. I’m no ice cream expert, but it seems Blizzards would sell amazingly well in the middle of July. Speaking of July, the fireworks this year were beyond sufficient. I love a good
I’m less than a year into my tenure as the father of a teenager and I think I’m losing. I’m not sure if I’m losing a game, a battle or a war… maybe all three. When I tell people who have been through their own dreaded parent-of-a-teenager years of my struggles with my teen, they […]
So first Walmart announced it was removing any and all items from their shelves that feature the Confederate battle emblem in the wake of the brutal mass shooting in Charleston. And the State of South Carolina now is working to remove the Confederate Battle Flag from their statehouse grounds,
While it would be disingenuous to say that the South Carolina legislature’s decision to remove the Confederate flag from their courthouse is causing more problems than it’s solving — history has been on the side of this decision even long before it was made — it might be fair to say that the
I did something out of the ordinary this week. It wasn’t anything really special, but it was something really special. That’s not a typo. I’ll explain: My daughter, No. 3, went to spend the night with her cousin, which meant that after the wife went to work, it was just the me and my boys. […]
Living in Wisconsin, I think we feel a certain kinship to the characters of “Game of Thrones,” and I’m not just talking about the rampant incest and blood magic. “Winter is coming” is a both a major tagline for the show and also our justification for drinking more and buying comically gigantic