- Apparently, the U.S. Postal Service is on a hiring freeze. Couple that with an aging workforce with sick and personal days to use before retirement, and you’ve got a bunch of temporary workers wandering the streets with mail. I get it.
- Are the temps required to recognize numbers? I don’t mean to be a jerk. I truly don’t. Even if you don’t know the route well, though, matching the address on the envelope with the number on the house seems like a no-brainer. Bless.
- I did feel bad for the USPS when we were having all that ice and rain. A job where you’re required to walk from house to house in inclement weather doesn’t sound fun.
- We had one of those “appointments” with the gas company last week. At first, the rep told me they’d be by between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Now that’s just silly. They get away with it because there’s only one company who can reconnect the gas. I asked if they could be any more specific. She narrowed it down to sometime between noon and 4 p.m. That’s doable.
- I sat in my house for that entire four hours, and I can promise you no one knocked on my door. We don’t have a doorbell button, we do have a barking dog and my teeny tiny rental car was parked in the driveway. They said I wasn’t home. I wanted to get mad, I really did. They offered to come back between four and midnight. Okay, I got a little mad.
- I didn’t cuss.
- I apologized, in advance, to the girl who took my call. After all, it wasn’t her fault. She drew the short stick.
- In the end, so we wouldn’t have to sit at home all night, they offered to call when they were “en route.” After they called, 45 minutes passed, and still no gas (wo)man.
- I called to ask what “en route” meant. I apologized to that girl, too. She politely told me it meant “on the way.” Bless.
- Question (and my tone isn’t any more than an inquisitive one — I’m curious): Why can’t the gas (wo)men give everyone a heads up when they’re “en route,” instead of crazy-long windows of time? Once you’ve gotten the call, if you aren’t in the driveway by the time they get there, you miss the appointment altogether.
- It seems as if it should go without saying, but please, please, PLEASE don’t send your children to school sick. Don’t send yourself to work sick. It may seem impossible, and you may be tired of your kid and want him out of your hair, but if he’s still sick, you might as well ask him to lick his classmates. It’d be a more direct assault, and they’re all gonna get it anyway. Twenty-four hours fever-free and no signs of the (yes I’m talking about the stomach) bug.
- We’re about to emerge from the winter of ice and stomach bugs. Sure, we might still have a cold snap or two, but the pollen count is on the rise. You may sneeze even thinking about it, but don’t forget the trade-off. We get azaleas, dogwoods and camellias. I think it’s worth it.
- If you’re getting your home ready for Golf Tournament Week, good luck. Even though we don’t rent, I’m thankful for houseguests. If you’re coming to stay with us that week, THANK YOU. You force me to clean out closets and dust baseboards, just like everyone else. My goal is to get rid of one bag of donate/recycle/trash every day until then. That’s half Lenten promise, half necessity.
- We try to give up something as a family for Lent. Instead, this year, we’re taking something on. We’ve gotten in a terrible habit of being around each other for dinner, instead of being together for dinner. At restaurants, we always have a kids’ table when we’re with friends. If our kids are eating at home, we’re nearby, but not necessarily sitting at the table. For the remainder of the 40 days, if we’re home, we’re all at the table. I already like it better. Here’s to hoping we can create a new habit and keep going.
- We’re building a screened porch. By “we” I mean “he.” I support his efforts, though. Screened-porch weather is nearly year-round in Augusta. I look forward to many a margarita on this porch. Due to bad weather and various unnamed or unknown other factors, construction has come to a halt. Maybe “he” gave up building things for Lent. KIDDING, BABE. (You’re amazing and wonderful and I shouldn’t judge, because I’d smash my finger hanging a painting on the wall.) Smooches!
It looks like she knew the vagaries of the law enough to get away with it. Either that, or former Columbia County Tax Commissioner Kay Allen just got lucky. Phone conversations with local investigators this week, and an email from the District Attorney, confirmed what I already knew: there will
1. I did jinx myself last week. Everything was still great in Augusta, but when we left Chicago, there were cancellations, oversold flights and a 24-hour delay. At the time, it seemed stressful, but if that’s the worst thing that happens all summer, I’ll consider us pretty fortunate. 2. Hey, US
Every now and again, we as a culture stop throwing awards at the Foo Fighters long enough to develop an obsessive, almost childlike fascination with a new female rapper. The rather infrequent timing with which we tend to do this owes, I think, to two different, nearly at-odds aspects of this
Holy Cow! What a great month for movies! First, of course, is the new Transformers movie. Okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t the best of the franchise. But what science fiction fan doesn’t love watching Optimus Prime fighting it out during a summer blockbuster? Next comes one of the greatest science
My Tuesday evening deadline has once again killed my ability to specifically discuss the results of the big contests, but I guarantee you one thing: in these parts the overachievers concentrated their votes with conservative candidates and the folks who have largely accepted a permanent place
Early afternoon, and the white sun hung cold in a slate-colored sky as if the tip of a piece of steel was heated to the torture-point of freezing. The road ran straight and forever-seeming enough that it was like a piece of Illinois highway was ripped up and cast asunder to the north, a
Last Saturday, I woke up at 6:59. In the morning. On the weekend. Our kids are great sleepers, so I can’t remember the last time I had to get up that early on a Saturday. Most of you are telling me this isn’t that bad. It was. We had a 7 a.m. flight. I hopped […]
The legions of Augusta Tek fans already know that I generally dislike video embedded into web pages. First of all, it’s just rude. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to apologize to my spouse, kids and employees for creating an interruption. Surfing the web is a private activity. Sure, you
An interesting fringe benefit to having what has to be the coolest job in Augusta media is that just when I think I have heard it, seen it or read it all, some group of idiots jump up and remind me why it rarely sucks to do what I do. There are actually human beings […]
I was sitting in Gate E at Logan Airport, waiting for my plane and reading through the Apache massacre section of “Blood Meridian” when the Germany vs. Brazil World Cup semifinal game started. My wife and I had just finished eating lunch at the airport bar that boasted the terminal’s only six
My kids are always telling me I’m not old. I tend to agree with them. I’m only 37. While that might’ve seemed ancient to 20-year-old me, it’s just a number now. It’s a little strange to think about the years past since, say, high school. It can’t possibly have been almost 20 years. It doesn’t
Spectacular embarrassment is my specialty. Ever since elementary school, I was good at embarrassing myself in astounding ways. Sometimes life likes to show me that I haven’t lost my touch. Last week I was provided the opportunity to prove that I haven’t lost my magic. I’m at
If there was ever an operation that was in need of tech refresh, it has got to be the drive-thru window. In the 30-something years since they became widespread, nothing really has changed. Sure, the speakers may have better quality, and some upscale joints may have electronic signs showing your
Tell something unusual or memorable about yourself. What’s your favorite color? If you were stranded on an island with just one thing, what would it be? Would you rather drink sour milk or eat rancid meat? Ice breakers. I think the only people who like them are seminar coordinators and
Whether we realize it or not, we tend to measure the scope of our lives in events. Sometimes, these events are seemingly disconnected, held together by the common thread of their sheer historical gravity: my grandfather fought in World War II, was around when the Stock Market crashed,
Good news! At least one part of the federal government is entering the 21st century. The Supreme Court is demonstrating an understanding of something that we’ve all known for a while. Whether it’s on paper, in our phones or in the cloud, our data is OUR DATA! This past week, the Supreme Court
After about 15 years’ procrastination, I’m finally reading “The Stand.” I’m not sure why I resisted actually tackling the book for so long. Its length doesn’t bother me; I’ve read denser stuff in graduate school. Likewise, the horror, to my palate, comes across as fairly muted; it’s harrowing
1. Every year I say it, and every year I mean it: how are we already in July? Summer break is halfway over. Summer break isn’t long enough. 2. We’ve been as lazy as promised. Lazy has such a negative connotation. I prefer “relaxed.” 3. Like soccer (futbol) or not, having an American team do
We are just six weeks away from the premiere of the amazing new James Brown biopic that through its preview trailers has taken the entertainment world by storm. I will go on record now as predicting major box office success for the picture, as well as Academy Award nominations for several of
About a week ago, I sat in my living room on the third story of our apartment building in a quiet suburb of Madison, drinking coffee, watching World Cup highlights and listening to a tornado siren caterwauling. I don’t know whether it was the fact that I’d closed the bar the night before and