Masters Monday Deserves a Mulligan
So whilst the CSRA is overwrought with khaki pants, visors, and pimento cheese sandwiches during it’s annual Master’s party ending in the illustrious robing of the coveted Augusta National Green Jacket, many parents are participating in the sport of PDM (Parenting During Masters). This one doesn’t end in a trophy or poly/cotton blend jacket.
That family week with your children means you will not even be going to the bathroom in peace. Fore!
There are many parenting options for Masters week, known elsewhere as “Spring Break.” The options are rent and vacate, vacate, or stay put.
What many seemingly sane people do is move out of their home temporarily allowing complete strangers to occupy their domicile for an exchange of a handsome sum of cash. This rent and vacate option requires months of preparation including purging toys without their children’s knowledge, not allowing their children to bring new toys into the home, fighting with children about where their toys are that they haven’t played with in MONTHS. Parents pack up all the rest of the toys, clothes and any evidence of living people into plastic totes and piling them into the attic, garage, or some sort of storage.
Many of these master renters also require a home honey dew list that rivals any Amendment to Address Concerns, so numerous man hours are involved in fixing said home to look show ready. It is an arduous task that does eventually end in a well deserved vacation.
Other folks may leave without renting their home. This viable option gives the family the piece of mind that nobody of questionable nature is defiling their home and they avoid the rent and vacate honey dew list and toy struggle. They get away from the droves of visitors and take a vacation. Not a bad option, but there isn’t the vacation reimbursement plan like the renters.
Then there are those who batten down the hatches and stay in the game. These parents typically enjoy what is referred to as ‘a work week.’ These parents ship off their children to stay with family members or more socially acceptable “camp.” The luckier few may have older children who are responsible enough to stay at home with the internet. These folks run the risk of incurring the dreaded Social Media Comparison Syndrome.
This may be caused by the ubiquitous feet in front of beach Spring Break 2019 photo posted by friends on social media. Indeed you are living your best life, Susan.
If we are fortunate, our older youth show some drive and work ethic during spring break. The Augusta National kindly hires several thousands of the areas scrubbed up teen suburbanites to work in white jumpsuits picking up trash (as if) or pouring sodas.
It is an honor to watch your child have their first 100 hour work week. (Wipes tear from face.)
It is shocking to think about how much power the Augusta National in fact has over so many lives and our children’s calendars. The 2.5% of the schools’ population who may not be able to get into their homes Sunday, the very homes that their parents chose to rent for profit, may risk not being able to make it to school Monday morning. Bless their hearts. So whatever are we to do to help them not miss a day school and risk not receiving the perfect attendance award? The Georgia schools decided to help remedy this vexing situation, “hey, you know those home renters need an extra day to settle on back in and we should probably give them one extra day off from school.” Right.
Perhaps said governing decision-makers of the school calendar should have spoken with the single-parents of the world (yes, the world would probably agree) or the working parents and gotten a little extra information prior to said aforementioned decision of adding an extra day off from school for the small population of renters that can’t get into their primary residence Sunday evening. The effect on the majority of the working parents or single parent is either scramble to find childcare, leave their kids at home with the internet, or take a day off from work.
I fully support those who capitalize off of the influx of golfers who need a place to stay and I commend you for allowing strangers to sleep in your beds. It is fantastic that you set up your home like a hotel, get paid, and take an amazing trip.
Maybe those school calendar decision-makers will be available Monday to babysit.