Author

Amy Christian

The great thing about Craft & Vine is that you can make the experience there anything you want it to be — the menu of snacks, charcuterie, small plates, pizzas and desserts lends itself just as well to a fine-dining date night out as it does to an early evening of sharing happy hour snacks with friends.

The third in Chef Sean Wight’s restaurant empire, Craft & Vine bridges the gap between the upscale Frog Hollow Tavern and the casual Farmhaus Burger. It looks like a fine-dining restaurant, swanky and sophisticated, and has a metal-topped bar that is a cocktail lover’s dream. But it is also relaxed, casual and welcoming. Those who walk in have been known to utter a contented sigh even before being seated.

And though the bar almost runs the length of the restaurant itself and boasts a wine preservation system that allows them to offer 40 wines by the glass, as well as bartenders who know their way around craft cocktails, the food is where Craft & Vine really shines.

The toppings on their deviled farm eggs change every week (a spinach, sundried tomato pesto and parmesan crisp was a recent favorite), the offerings for their charcuterie and cheese boards make it difficult to limit yourself to just five (although don’t forget to include the chorizo and the Asher Blue), their grilled strip steak and potato pommes aligot won’t make you feel like you ate an entire cow. These, and many more, are all worth ordering.

Whatever your likes or dislikes, however, you really should try one of Craft & Vines pizzas. Possessing one of the only wood-fired pizza ovens in the area, Craft & Vines’ pies have a delicately thin crust that is pleasantly flame-charred. They currently have 11 varieties on the menu, but The Titan is where it’s at. With peach puree made from locally grown fruit standing in for the normal tomato sauce, it is topped with speck, basil and buffalo mozzarella. Salty, creamy and only slightly sweet, it’s difficult to resist eating the entire pie.

You should save room for dessert, though, especially if the blood orange pot de crème with hibiscus sauce is on the menu. One of Craft & Vines lovely desserts, served with their French Press coffee service, is the perfect end to the meal.

So no matter what you’re in the mood for, Craft & Vine is where you will get exactly what you want.

Craft & Vine
1204B Broad Street, downtown Augusta
5 p.m.-midnight, Wednesday-Thursday
5 p.m.-1 a.m., Friday-Saturday
706-496-8442
craftandvine.com

September 21, 2016

Food Stuff

by Amy Christian August 13, 2016

There’s a framed piece of art in one of the dining rooms at Buona Caffe, a watercolor and ink print by local artist Kenneth James Benson. Its subject is many of the main characters of “Twin Peaks,” with FBI Agent Dale Cooper near the center holding a cup and saying “This is a damn fine cup of coffee.”

As a huge fan of the early ‘90s crime drama from notoriously eccentric director David Lynch, I really want that print. Honestly, though, it’s probably better off where it is, since Buona Caffe has the finest coffee in Augusta.

Owned by John and Pat Curry, Buona Caffe started as a hobby, with John grinding beans for the couple then experimenting with roasting. They began selling the beans to other people in 2010 and quickly made a name for themselves. When they opened a coffee bar in 2013, the only thing people were surprised by was the location.

Even the dubious placement of their coffee bar, in a building that hasn’t been kind to previous tenants, hasn’t stopped the Currys, however. Business continues to boom and the buzz isn’t all from the caffeine. They provide beans to a number of local and regional restaurants, including Frog Hollow Tavern and The Bee’s Knees. Heck, they even provide coffee to the Georgia Governor’s Mansion.

And they continue to grow. The Currys have had to buy a bigger coffee roaster. They recently rolled out a new logo and slogan (Happily Caffeinated). Their coffee appreciation class, a 90-minute session that includes a bag of beans to take home, had a waiting list almost as soon as they opened registration.

Visit Buona Caffe and you’ll leave knowing why people love this place, and it’s basically for three reasons: good coffee, good food and a knowledgeable staff.

I admit that I’ve only been to Buona Caffe a couple of times and it’s been a while. So on a recent Friday afternoon, when I realized at about 2:30 p.m. that I hadn’t had lunch yet, I began looking around online and saw pictures of their pear, asiago cheese and rosemary scones.

That was all the prompting I needed.

I got there only to discover that there were no scones in sight, but that they had two quiche choices available in addition to a small selection of sandwiches. It’s not often that I’m not in the mood for a pimento cheese sandwich, but quiche sounded like a good pick-me-up to go with the latte with (homemade) mocha syrup I ordered. The problem was deciding which quiche to order, the spinach and red pepper or the bacon and mushroom. I went with the former.

Once I ordered I began looking at the bags of beans that line a shelf opposite the ordering counter. They helpfully have a list of their roasts pinned to the shelf that tells customers the name of the roast, what kind it is (medium, dark, etc.) and tasting notes. I enlisted the help of the woman making my latte and, after I told her what I liked (dark, strong coffee but more rich and smooth than bright and acidic), she pointed me to the Bali Blue Moon. After having two big cups of it the next day, I can tell you it was the right choice.

Oh, and if you don’t have a grinder at home, they’ll grind the beans for you.

Once I received my sizeable mug I began to look around, and one of the things I like about Buona Caffe is that you feel like you’re in someone’s home. Large windows dot the space and the walls are oranges and yellows. The furniture is a hodge podge, but everything somehow fits together well.

I sat by a window in a room to the left of the counter and amused myself by looking at the other artwork until my husband, with teenager in tow, arrived from school. The kid ordered a cinnamon roll, warmed up, and a soda, while Jim ordered an iced chai.

My quiche had arrived by that time and I dug in while Jim made quick work of his chai. As for my latte, it was almost too pretty to drink, but I was pleased to find that, unlike some other coffee places, a coffee drink with syrup at Buona Caffe doesn’t mean you’ll get two pounds of sugar in your drink. Yes, I could taste the syrup, but it was barely sweet. Just good.

The quiche was excellent, although I could have used a lot more spinach. Anybody who’s cooked with spinach knows that it’s a tough thing to judge; you could think you put a ton of it in the recipe but, once cooked, it’s like it’s hardly there. Aside from that, it was lovely, with lots of cheese and a buttery, flaky crust.

I was happy to see that the cinnamon roll, like the latte, was flavorful without being a sugar bomb. The kid would have liked more icing but, then again, I think she eats cinnamon rolls just for the icing. I thought it was great.

I’m anxious to go back to Buona Caffe and taste their regular coffee made using the manual pour over method. They say it takes about four minutes (except for a couple of hours every weekday morning when they make some in advance) to prepare the coffee using a glass carafe topped with a glass cone and a filter. Basically, they put the ground beans in the cone and pour hot water over it and let the coffee filter through.

It’s just one of the many fascinating sounding items on Buona Caffe’s menu that will keep me coming back. The only thing missing from that menu is pie. Add slices of cherry pie and I, like Agent Cooper, would be happy indeed.

Buona Caffe

1858 Central Avenue

7 a.m.-7 p.m. weekdays; 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturdays

706-869-4074

buonacaffe.com

August 13, 2016

Kroc Center Celebrates Five-Year Anniversary

by Amy Christian August 3, 2016

Five years ago this week, Salvation Army Augusta unveiled its brand-new, state-of-the-art Kroc Center. Built from funds donated by Joan Kroc, the widow of McDonalds founder Ray Kroc, as well as those raised by the community, people in the area had a difficult time wrapping their heads around what the $35 million, 100,000-square-foot facility was supposed to be.

Then, many believed it to be an expansion of the Salvation Army’s mission to help the homeless rather than the community center it was built to be. And though it has since found its niche, those who work for the Salvation Army say there’s still a slight disconnect when it comes to the Kroc Center’s purpose and mission.

“It’s just an amazing thing to experience, first of all, and it’s vastly underutilized in the community, simply because people are unaware of what all is available,” said Augusta Area Commander Philip Canning, who came to his new post here a month ago from Shawnee, Oklahoma. “A lot of people don’t realize that, yes, we do charge fees for certain things, but we also have quite a few things that we do not charge fees for that are available to people.”

The Kroc Center, for instance, has a gym, but it’s not just a fitness center. There’s a café in the center, but it’s not just a restaurant.

“It’s a community center,” explains Jillian Hobday, marketing and PR manager for the Salvation Army. “People can come in to get out of the heat and get something to drink. We have a theater and sometimes we’ll have family movie nights. There are so many things that are happening here that are not just for members. It’s not just a fitness facility. We are here to serve the community.”

As the Kroc Center celebrates its five-year anniversary this week, culminating on Saturday, August 6, with a yard sale in the morning and a party in the afternoon, there’s a push to better define its role in the Salvation Army’s mission. The hope is that if people better understand what it’s supposed to do, they’ll be more likely to participate and be a part of the community the Kroc Center is trying to create.

The first step to understanding the Kroc Center, said Canning, is to understand that the Salvation Army is a church that was founded in 1865 by William Booth, then a Methodist minister.

“He basically believed the church was not doing enough to reach the people that were in the most need of assistance, so he broke off from the United Methodist Church and met the people where they were and began the church that way,” Canning explained. “So everything we do springs out of the church.”

Booth went from a reverend in the Methodist church to a general at the Salvation Army, since the church has a paramilitary structure, and instituted the saying “soup, soap and salvation.” Simply put, that means Salvationists (what church members call themselves) focus on meeting a person’s physical needs first before talking to them about their spiritual needs.

“Once those needs are taken care of, then and only then will people be open to hearing about the love of Christ because, first of all, they’ve just experienced the love of Christ,” he said. “So many times, all of us, even us in the Salvation Army, get it backwards and we try to do Christ first and then give them what they need for their physical needs after that and it just doesn’t work that way. That’s not the way Jesus operated and that’s not the way we need to operate either.”

The Salvation Army meets needs for the homeless through a shelter and food bank, the Center of Hope. The Kroc Center, however, meets different needs for those struggling with poverty by providing a place for those of all socioeconomic levels to come together. And not only do people have a place to meet those they might not otherwise run into, those who buy memberships help fund scholarships for those who can’t afford them.

“One of the things that almost everybody across the board knows is that for people who are struggling with issues related to poverty, in order for them to escape from that they can’t do it on their own. They need help, just like we all do,” Canning said. “We all need mentors, we all need people to come around us and support us and show us the way through new ways of doing things. It’s the same thing with issues related to poverty, and what we have here is a facility that attracts not only individuals in poverty, but also people in middle class and wealth class individuals.”

It’s a unique opportunity to connect people.

“That doesn’t happen very many other places, and if we can leverage that opportunity of having all these people under one roof to build a tighter community, not just within the Kroc Center, but a tighter community within the Augusta area, especially the area right here around the Kroc, the possibilities are amazing when you stop and think about it,” he said. “That’s something we’re paying very close attention to and looking at creative ways in which we can leverage those opportunities to build the community around us.”

And though many focus on the Kroc Center’s central building, that building isn’t the only part of the center. There are several houses and structures surrounding the Kroc Center that provide everything from job skills classes to a variety of services and resources to those in need at the First Stop Village.

The Salvation Army has big plans for the Kroc Center, including raising its community profile and perhaps even developing the green space that sits next to the canal. Right now, however, they’re celebrating their first big milestone by focusing on one aspect of the center each day. They’ve already had Member Appreciation Day on Monday, Café Day on Tuesday and Community Day on Wednesday. Thursday is Art Gala Day, highlighting the local artists whose work they display on the walls, as well as the art classes they offer throughout the year.

Fitness Friday will focus on the classes they offer and a fitness lunch and learn, before Saturday’s big celebration. The Community Yard Sale will be from 7 a.m.-noon and the Five Year Anniversary Bash, which will include vendors, games, face painting, a kids’ area with bounce houses and more, is from 2-6 p.m.

The bash is free and open to the public, but the Salvation Army is asking for a canned good or donation to their food bank. It will be fun, but Canning stresses that those attending might also learn a thing or two.

“The one thing I would like to communicate to people is that there is more here than it seems. There is more available to everyone in the community,” he said. “Whether they would be classified in a lower socioeconomic class or a high socioeconomic class, there is something here for you to take advantage of and we would be stronger if you would come take advantage of it.”

For more information, visit salvationarmyaugusta.org.

August 3, 2016

Cuisine Scene

by Amy Christian August 3, 2016

Bryan Mitchell didn’t grow up in Georgia or South Carolina, so the kind of cooking we’re used to isn’t something he had growing up.

“I had never really had mac and cheese except for Kraft mac and cheese,” he said. “We had lima beans, but they were in a can. We had sweet potatoes, but they were called yams and they were in a can. We had green beans and they were in a can. I never saw my mother work with vegetables except to cut up lettuce for a salad.”

Those who know Mitchell as the former owner of the Cotton Patch downtown and the current owner of Eli’s American, which opened in 2015 in Columbia County, may find this admission shocking. After all, both of Mitchell’s restaurants have been known for their polished but casual interiors and for serving food that has been described as elegantly southern.

He may not have grown up with good southern food, but Mitchell says his love of it comes from his inclusion into his wife Cathy’s family, who have been in the Columbia County area for about 300 years.

“I get a lot of my understanding of all things southern from the real southern ladies and gentlemen I know and have had the pleasure of being related to,” he said, adding that they’ve shown him over the years how to make the most of what you have. “A lot of southern cooking is based on not having the finest ingredients but using what you have and making it fine. Fried chicken is poor people’s food because that’s all they had. But you can make fried chicken into a gourmet dish because it really is if it’s done right.”

Fried chicken, in fact, has made it onto the menu at Eli’s only this week in anticipation of the restaurant’s new brunch on Saturday and Sunday mornings. But it’s not just any fried chicken. Named Chicken Wallace in honor of former Cotton Patch employee Mike Wallace, who died several years ago, the dish includes pecan and honey fried chicken, sweet and savory because of the addition of chicken stock and Sriracha, with Belgian waffles.

The dish is one more in a long line of successful collaborations between Mitchell and long-time employee Delores Harden, or Miss D as everyone knows her, who’s worked for him for 20 years and grew up cooking in her mother’s restaurant.

“She’s been cooking in restaurants for 45 years and I would put her up against anybody,” Mitchell says, adding that Delores has developed all the spice mixes, rubs, breading and more that they use for dishes in Eli’s kitchen. “She’s just a wizard.”

Other favorites that the two have come up with include the restaurant’s popular pimento cheese grits and new favorite Soul Rolls.

“I just said I wanted something that looked Asian but that was made with totally southern ingredients, so she just came up with it,” he said of the dish that includes Jimmy Dean sausage, smoked ham, pimento cheese and collard greens. “It’s got protein and cheese and a leafy green, so it kind of looks like a real spring roll or egg roll would, it’s just different.”

Mitchell said their fried pecan pie came about when the two were just playing around with ideas in the kitchen, “and now it’s legendary, almost.”

The two know when not to mess around with a tried and true formula, however. Their chicken salad is just that.

“The beautiful thing about our chicken salad is that it’s just simple chicken salad,” he said. “We’ve resisted the urge to throw in grapes and pecans and all the fruit du jour. It’s just white-meat chicken, a little bit of pickle relish and some Duke’s mayonnaise. People have been eating it for years.”

Then there are the burgers at Eli’s, which, like the fried pecan pie, have become the stuff of legend. There are five signature burgers on the menu; all are good, and one has even made it onto exploregeorgia.org’s list of 100 Plates Locals Love. The Dixie Burger is a half-pound beef patty topped with a fried green tomato, pimento cheese and buffalo cream sauce.

All of these dishes are served in a setting that very much evokes the classic south. Whereas the Cotton Patch had a distinctive New Orleans feel, Eli’s has a two-story columned façade that Mitchell affectionately calls the verandah, a place he very much looks forward to using once the weather cools off a bit. The interior is almost clubby: dark walls, leather booths and lots of repurposed architectural elements and refinished furniture.

The latter elements come courtesy of Cathy Mitchell, who started Trends and Traditions many years ago and currently has a booth at the Romantic Farmhouse.

“She buys and sells antiques and she’s really good at refinishing, doing these distressed finishes and faux finishes,” Mitchell explained. “I like the architectural antiques; she likes furniture. I just buy the weird stuff and she figures out how to use it.”

The end result is a restaurant that looks fancier than it actually is, and the Mitchells are proud that Eli’s is a locally owned restaurant in Columbia County where diners can get an excellent meal and a drink at the bar without paying a fortune. They can also hear music on Friday nights and reserve the banquet room for special occasions.

And, like any good southern host, Mitchell and the folks at Eli’s will almost guarantee that you’ll take something home with you.

“We give you a ton of food,” Mitchell laughs. “I don’t want anyone to leave without feeling they got an awesome deal. Plus, when you take it home, you’ll be thinking about me tomorrow and you’ll probably tell somebody about it. And it’s a southern thing, too; whenever you visit someone’s house, they try to send something home with you.”

Eli’s American

4446 Washington Road, Evans

Open Monday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. and Sunday 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

706-524-7152

elisamerican.com

August 3, 2016

“Overnight” Success

by Amy Christian July 27, 2016

Walk into any of Diablo’s Southwest Grill’s four locations for the first time and a customer would be forgiven for thinking it’s a national chain. The décor is impeccable, the food is fantastic and the restaurant itself is filled with thoughtful touches like cell phone charging stations at each booth.

“A lot of people in the community don’t realize that we are a local business,” laughed Carl Wallace, one of the three partners in a venture that opened three years ago. “We just serve good food, quietly. We don’t preach that it’s locally grown, we just provide a great product.”

Wallace and Brad Wall were already business partners in Augusta Granite when, six years ago, they decided to open a restaurant.

“I started cooking a little bit and learned that I had a passion for cooking,” Wallace explained. “That led to cooking for some friends and then that led to people joking that I should do a restaurant.”

Once the thought was planted and Brad brought his brother Brandon Wall on board, the potential restaurant owners spent years researching the idea.

“We spent three years studying and recipe-ing and planning out the restaurant before we even swung the first hammer,” Brandon Wall said.

Though they are passionate about food, the three are also businessmen who knew that they wanted Diablo’s to be something much bigger than one restaurant: a franchise based in the south was the goal.

“We always set out to be a franchise model, but to do that is very difficult and you have to be very successful running a restaurant before you can even consider a franchise,” Wallace explained. “That’s why it took three years to get to where we were ready to open. But that’s what a franchisee is paying for: if you follow this arrangement, if you follow this recipe, this is typically the success you should have. If you go to the Wheeler Road store and then go down to Walton Way, that food should taste just like the food at the Wheeler Road store because the procedures and the recipes are the same.”

Wallace and the Walls must be doing something right because, since opening their first location on Wheeler Road three years and three months ago, they now have four locations: corporate store Wheeler Road and franchises Walton Way, Aiken and Athens. There are several more on the way, including Washington Road in Augusta, North Augusta, Grovetown and Evans, as well as ones in Braselton, Thomasville, Statesboro and possibly even Jacksonville, Florida.

“When we turned three years old we had three stores that were open, which is unheard of,” Brandon Wall said. “And two of those are franchise stores.”

How did that happen?
“We don’t know,” Wallace laughed before admitting that he had a pretty good idea. “Well, it just happens that if you build a model based on it looking like a franchise, then people show up asking how they become a franchise. And they think, ‘Who do I get in touch with about opening a franchise?’ and it’s us. That’s what we do.”

Their focus is to remain in the south for many years to come, and they give all the credit for their “overnight” success to the extensive preparation they did before opening their doors. Talk to any of the three owners — Wallace who handles franchises, marketing and culinary direction; Brandon Wall, who handles operations; and Brad Wall, who handles construction — and they can spout off anything you want to know about any part of Diablo’s operations.

They can tell you why they bother to chop their own cilantro and shred their own cheese instead of buying it pre-prepared. They can tell you where their beef (or any of their proteins) come from and what their specifications for buying it is because they’ve visited all of the manufacturers. Heck, they can probably even recite the marinade recipe off the top of their heads. They can explain why their tortilla chips are so much lighter, fluffier and crunchier than some of their competitions’ are. They can even tell you why they give customers who want water a 16-ounce cup, much bigger than other places do.

“Why should a customer spend $8 or $9 for a meal and then you give them this 8-ounce water cup?” Wallace said. “It’s pretty much embarrassing the customer. You’ve got this little kiddie cup and you’ve got to keep getting up and going back and forth just so the restaurant can save two cents on that order.”

Similarly, soda cups are one size — 24 ounces — so customers won’t have to make a decision at the counter and then spend time going back and forth to the drink station.

The three owners don’t brag about these things, but customers do notice. They like having a choice between regular or spicy sour cream and either Spanish or cilantro lime rice with their chicken burrito bowl, the most popular item on the Diablo’s menu. They love the salsa bar, the ghost pepper cheese (which started out as a special that customers demanded be made available all the time) and the homemade peach habanero hot sauce. And the fact that the proteins are marinated and cooked at each location makes a difference.

“All of our proteins are marinated and cooked in house. We have a dual grill that’s gas fired and wood fired,” Wallace explained. “There’s a transparency here with the food. You can see your food on the grill.”

In fact, the only thing the folks at Diablo’s don’t make in house is the cookies.

They may not brag about all their hard work, but it has paid off. On Yelp, Diablo’s is No. 4 on the list of Augusta’s best restaurants and they’re the only fast-casual spot in the Top 5. And they have a following.

“We’ve been very fortunate to have the following we do. It’s almost a cult following on the local level,” Wallace said. “When we announced the Grovetown location, I think it had 28,000 views on Facebook, and that wasn’t even a share to win. It was just announcing that we were opening in Grovetown, so that’s a lot of love for a restaurant.”

They credit their customers’ loyalty to the fact that they stick to their core values and are as authentic as they can be.

“We actually do things extremely authentic to our concept, but we’re not as vocal about that as we should be,” Brandon Wall said. “That’s why we have so many customers. They just know it’s good food. We care about the product and we care about what we’re serving our people.”

Diablo’s Southwest Grill currently has four locations open — on Wheeler Road and Walton Way in Augusta and in Aiken and Athens — from 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Monday-Saturday and 11 a.m.-9 p.m. on Sunday. Other locations currently under construction include ones in Grovetown, North Augusta, Evans, Washington Road in Augusta, Braselton, Thomasville and Statesboro.

July 27, 2016

Food Stuff

by Amy Christian July 16, 2016

Belair Donuts proves the old adage the early bird gets the worm. Or, in this case, the donut.

Not only are they open extraordinarily early — 5 a.m. at their Evans location and 5:30 a.m. at the location near Fort Gordon’s Gate 2 most days — but those who visit near their 1 p.m. closing time will find themselves left with the crumbs of what the early risers have left.

Such was the case when I visited Belair Donuts’ Evans location for the first time. I didn’t make it out there until 11 a.m. and was greeted with a large case that had been pretty thoroughly picked over.

I had already checked out both their website and their Facebook page, so I had visions of taking home Cro-Dos (croissant donuts), lemon-filled Long Johns, maple bacon donuts or perhaps even an Oreo donut to my surprised and delighted family. Alas, there were only three dozen or so cake donuts left, as well as a couple of cinnamon rolls, pinwheels, pinecones and cream-filled Bismarks.

A small shop at the end of a strip center off I-20, Belair Donuts’ interior is spare: a counter with a register, a case for showing off pastries, a refrigerated case with bottled drinks and a few tables are pretty much it for the inside. It makes sense, since most people who visit will take their goodies home to gorge on them in private.

I also knew from my online recon that Belair Donuts uses locally roasted Buona Caffe for the coffee that goes into their extensive menu of drinks. They have lots of choices, but I felt I was in for a sugar rush enough as it was, so I just ordered a plain cappuccino. While the lone employee set about the make my drink, I studied my options.

I ended up ordering a half-dozen cake donuts, two each of chocolate, red velvet and chocolate-frosted red velvet. After talking about the other choices, I decided on a pinwheel, which the employee explained was basically a cinnamon roll, but its shape allowed the dough to puff up a bit more than a regular roll.

I also went for a Pine Cone, which is the basic cinnamon roll dough which is scored across the top before being baked so that it crisps up more than a regular roll would.

I also decided on a couple of Kalachis, which are beef sausages wrapped in donut dough that come in three varieties: regular, spicy and cheese.

Once home, we dug in. We devoured the Kalachis in under a minute but the winner of the two was the spicy one rather than the cheese. It wasn’t too spicy and the dough wasn’t too sweet.

As for the cinnamon pastries, I have to say that I don’t think I want to go back to a plain cinnamon roll ever again. Now that I’ve tasted the difference, the regular roll just seems so heavy.

The Pine Cone and the Pinwheel were both light, not overly sweet or overly frosted and were both exactly as described. I especially liked the crunch of the Pine Cone.

And, finally, the donuts. Cake donuts have a reputation for being dense, sometimes too much so. I was therefore surprised when I broke one in half and found lots of little air pockets throughout. They were light, sweet but not too sweet, and delicious. The best? The chocolate-frosted red velvet, of course.

As for the coffee, it was the perfect, non-sugary foil for all the sweetness. Strong, but not bitter and mellowed with just the right amount of milk and foam.

Demand is great for the products produced at Belair Donuts and I can now see why. The employee I spoke to said that they were in the middle of hiring and training new bakers so they can keep up with demand.

Until then, if I want a cream cheese puff, it looks like I’ll be setting my alarm clock. And I’ll happily do that if I can be the early bird.

Belair Donuts & Coffee Corner

4045 Jimmie Dyess Parkway

Monday-Friday, 5 a.m.-1 p.m.; Saturday-Sunday, 6 a.m.-1 p.m.

706-364-6522

720 E. Robinson Avenue

Monday-Thursday, 5:30 a.m.-1 p.m.; Friday-Sunday, 6 a.m.-6 p.m.

706-869-5091

belairdonuts.com

July 16, 2016

Tasting and Touring

by Amy Christian July 13, 2016

Even with the oppressive Georgia heat, July remains many a cycling fan’s favorite time of year.

“This particular time of the year is a magical one for cyclists,” laughed local attorney and cyclist Jim Ellington, “with the biggest bicycle race going on in France right now.”
Ellington is, of course, talking about the Tour de France, a 21-stage race taking place over 23 days. Teams of professional cyclists will cover a wide array of terrains and about 2,000 miles during the race, which turns the serene French countryside into something resembling a brightly colored circus.

Most amateur cyclists and sports fans dream of seeing a Tour de France stage in person, but Ellington and other members of local cycling advocacy group Wheel Movement know that’s not always possible. So, last year, they decided to hold their own celebration called Taste of the Tour.

“People can’t necessarily travel to France to enjoy all the festivities that go along with the Tour de France, so what we’ve done is put together a little gathering which will allow us to perhaps introduce people to cycling, but we wanted to focus on some of the wines that are available along the route this year and have a food and wine pairing,” Ellington, president of Wheel Movement, said. “We think it’s a great opportunity to gather together and celebrate the sport and celebrate the many things that can be enjoyed about the sport.”

This year’s Taste of the Tour is coming up on Saturday, July 23, and Wheel Movement member and Augusta Canal Authority employee Russell Foster is chair and organizer of the event that will be held at the Enterprise Mill Discovery Center. Foster said that while the event definitely has a cycling theme, those attending definitely don’t have to be cyclists to enjoy it.

“You just have to like wine and people and food,” he said. “I suppose if you’re an introvert this might not be your event, but the wine could loosen you up.”

This year, the four wines included in the tasting are not only from France, but they’re from wineries located along the Tour de France’s route. A white, a sparkling, a red and a dessert wine will all be included and, once they were chosen, they were sent to Chef Havird Usry of Fat Man’s so he could come up with food pairings.

“It’s a really cool concept and these are some good wines, too,” he said. “These are some really well-rated wines.”

As participants in the event approach each station, they’ll find out about the wines, the food and the stage of the race that took riders past the winery.

Of course, they riders will have already passed each of the stages. In fact, the Tour de France will, for all intents and purposes, be over the night the Taste of the Tour is held. The final day of the race is Sunday, July 24, but it consists of riding into Paris and, except for the final sprint, is a mere formality for the riders. The last real day of racing is Saturday.

“The event itself is the same day as the penultimate day of the tour, so essentially, if you’re an avid cyclist and you care about the tour, you already know who has won,” Foster said. “But we’ll DVR it and it’ll be playing in the theatre we have here. That ended up being really popular last year, and there were 30 or 40 people in there watching it on the huge screen.”

Money raised from Taste of the Tour will go to help fund the programs and initiatives of Wheel Movement, which Randy DuTeau founded in 2010 after his good friend Dr. Matthew Burke died after being struck by an SUV driven by Daniel Johnson while on a group ride. Four other cyclists were injured, and Burke was in a coma for several months between the time of the wreck and his death.

Johnson receive a 90-day jail sentence, followed by five years probation and a suspended drivers license.

Around that same time, DuTeau said, the CSRA was beginning to benefit from hosting a number of cycling events like the International Mountain Biking Association Summit and Ironman 70.3 Augusta. Still, there was a segment of the area’s population that didn’t care for cyclists.

“The word that always kind of stuck in my mind was when someone referred to cyclists as lycra-clad eco-terrorists,” he said of some of the comments surrounding Burke’s death. “There was just such a deep-seeded resentment toward people who road bicycles. When there’s this nasty tone, then people have resentment toward cyclists so they’re going to take less care, try to buzz cyclists. We wanted to be smart about how we promoted cycling and cycling safety.”

The aim of Wheel Movement is to promote and support the local cycling community through education, outreach and advocacy.

“Education was real important to us,” he said. “We wanted to educate the public about the laws of cycling but then also, at the same time, make sure cyclists understood what their role was in safe cycling. In Matt’s case it was strictly on the driver, but, at the same time, it doesn’t give cyclists permission to go out and not pay attention to laws.”

The fact of the matter is bicycles are vehicles and, as such, have every legal right to be on the road. Ellington, who went to one of Wheel Movement’s early community meetings and got involved when they asked if there was a lawyer in the room, said that cyclists are required to follow the same rules as cars are.

“Bicycles are vehicles, held to the same rules of the road that those who drive cars or trucks are required to follow,” he explained. “Yes, we are vehicles out there, and I mean cyclists.”

And though, in Georgia, the law only requires helmets up to age 16 (South Carolina doesn’t require helmets at all), Ellington thinks that helmets should be worn by everyone.

“I think it is incumbent on parents to make sure their kids use bicycle helmets when they ride their bikes and, not only that, for parents to be good examples for their children and use bicycle helmets when they ride their bikes as well,” he said. “I have two friends who would be severely injured today had it not been for bicycle helmets and it’s something that takes very little effort to put on your head and make sure it’s properly used. In fact, we’ve had several kids cycling clinics where we try and make sure that kids and parents are properly instructed on the importance of wearing helmets.”

These are the kinds of outreach and educational programs Wheel Movement focuses on. In the future, they’d like to work on becoming a certified bicycle friendly community through the League of American Bicyclists and help update the area’s Bicycle and Pedestrian Plan.

Right now, though, they just want to focus on having a great time while celebrating one of the biggest cycling events in the world.

“It’s great that we can put the organization out there and people who may not know about us will get exposed,” DuTeau said. “But, at the same time, if you’re someone who just likes great food and loves great wine, you can come and it’s not so cycling centric that you can’t just go in there and have a really good time.”

Taste of the Tour is at the Enterprise Mill Discovery Center Saturday, July 23, from 7-9 p.m. It is $40, singles; $75, couples, with a deadline of Wednesday, July 20, to purchase tickets. Visit tasteofthetour2016.eventbrite.com/.

What’s on the menu?

Taste of the Tour will feature four French wines, picked because they come from regions of the country through which the Tour de France passes. Chef Havird Usry of Fat Man’s Mill Café then created a dish to go with each of the wines.

At the event, guests will be offered wine and food and will have a chance to see which stage of the Tour de France went through the region from which the wine came. Here’s what they can expect.

Station One
Wine: Louis Latour Pouilly Fuisee (Chardonnay)
Dish: Fig and prosciutto flatbread
Tour Stage: Moirans En-Montagne to Berne (16)

Station Two
Wine: Clos de Quarterons Cremant de Loire (80 percent Chenin Blanc, 20 percent Chardonnay, sparkling)
Dish: Atlantic blue crab and herb stuffed mushrooms
Tour Stage: Saumur to Limoges (4)

Station Three
Wine: Chateau Beaucastel Coudoulet de Beaucastel en Primeur Rouge (30 percent Grenache, 30 percent Mourvedre, 20 percent Syrah, 20 percent Cinsault)
Dish: Smokey pulled pork samosa with South Carolina peach barbecue sauce
Tour Stage: Montpellier to Mont Ventoux (12)

Station Four
Wine: M. Chapoutier Banyuls (Grenache, dessert)
Dish: Turtle caramel drizzled brownie
Tour Stage: Carcassonne to Montpellier (11)

July 13, 2016

Food Stuff

by Amy Christian July 2, 2016

You’d be forgiven for believing that World of Beer is just a bar. You would, however, be wrong.

It’s an easy mistake to make. World of Beer’s nondescript location on a crowded section of Washington Road (in front of one supermarket-anchored strip center and across the street from another), its equally nondescript building (which is basically just a rectangular box) and, well, its name would all lead the average person to believe that WOB is simply a place for people who like beer to go and try a wide variety of them.

Okay, so it is that.

World of Beer lives up to its name in that it has 50 rotating taps and large coolers on either side of the bar containing its bottled selections. It has popular domestic brands for those who aren’t too adventurous and stuff that many have never heard of for those who are. And they offer tastes so you can check out the unknowns before you order a full glass.

In addition, WOB offers a small selection of craft cocktails, shots, wines and non-alcoholic choices for those who are simply, and reluctantly, accompanying a beer snob to their mecca.

Those who don’t consider themselves knowledgeable in all things hops will be happy to know that, in addition to the varied drink selection, there’s more to do at World of Beer than just sip. The food here, at least everything I had on a recent evening, is damn good.

My dining companion and I walked into the restaurant shortly after 7 on a Wednesday night. The small parking lot was full, but there were plenty of tables available. The space inside is a lot larger than it appears from outside, and is outfitted in that mixture of farmhouse wood and industrial metal that’s so popular these days. It’s actually quite striking and not bar-like at all. Clubby, I guess, is how I’d describe it. The booths were all taken and it was too hot to sit on the patio, so we opted for seats at the bar.

That patio, despite the Washington Road view, is going to be nice come fall and winter. The glass doors leading out to it are retractable, easily transforming the place to an indoor-outdoor space and it contains a firepit surrounded by comfortable chairs, in addition to tables. I predict people are going to be fighting over that area as the temperature mellows. I know it’s where I’ll want to be.

The ladies behind the bar were hustling, and even though it’s just pouring beer (for the most part), they had a lot to keep up with. Different beers are served in different glasses and I can’t imagine having to keep up with all that in my head. Still, they were doing a good job and, though busy, our bartender greeted us with a smile and gave us menus.

And, boy, there are a lot of menus. There was a paper copy of drafts with all the pertinent information of each choice: alcohol by volume, style, brewery, state/country of origin and tasting notes. She also put a tablet in front of us that showed a list of the bottled beers. And, lastly, there was the nicely bound food menu.

We ignored the food menu initially, in part because we’d already checked it out online. I eventually asked for samples of the Jekyll Brewing Big Creek Pear and the Three Taverns La Peche Mode. I ended up going with the latter, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t at least partially because of the name.

Once we’d ordered beers, our bartender asked about appetizers and recommended the pretzel. Funny: we’d decided to order it before we even walked in the door. When it came to the table less than 10 minutes later I was slightly embarrassed that we had ordered it.

Why? You know those things you can buy for your kitchen to hang banana bunches on? (And no, not a banana hammock — that’s something completely different.) Well, WOB’s pretzels are so big they have to hang them from something that looks very similar. Now I know why they charge $8 for it. Well, $10, since we splurged for the homemade beer cheese.

That may sound expensive, but it was worth every penny. The pretzel was crusty and salty, with a sheen from where it had been brushed with butter, and the cheese was delicious. My date didn’t care for the stone-ground mustard and its slightly funky taste, but I liked it. The two were even better mixed together.

Since I already had my eye on dessert (more about that later), I decided to go light in an entrée. It wasn’t an easy decision, though. The menu features many dishes that looked great and many that incorporated beer into the recipes. The street tacos can be had with beer-battered shrimp or beer-brined chicken. The bratwurst is Guinness-infused. The spring greens and kale salad was topped with a Framboise vinaigrette.

It all sounded so good, especially the Chimay burger with Chimay cheese, sautéed mushrooms, caramelized onions and Chimay sauce. I knew, however, that if I ordered that and dessert I’d regret it later, so I went with a Margherita flatbread (regular rather than full-sized) that was topped with tomato, mozzarella, basil and pine nut pesto, balsamic glaze and arugula. It was great, nice and light, although I found myself wishing for more pesto and arugula.

My date ordered the bratwurst, which I didn’t try but he loved. It certainly looked good. He ordered it with a side of apple and kale coleslaw, as opposed to tater tots or tavern fries, and I did try that. Sweet, tangy, crunchy and not the slightest bit overdressed, I kept trying to go back for more of the small portion before getting a look that told me I might not want to try that again.

Somewhere during all of this we both ordered more beers, and my Southbound Transilience, a sour wheat beer brewed with mango and pomegranate, was light and tangy. It perfectly accompanied the flatbread.

On to dessert. WOB offers two, Belgian waffle s’mores, which didn’t appeal to either of us, and a pretzel bread pudding which, like the appetizer before it, I had already decided I wanted before I even set foot in the restaurant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… more pretzels. So what? Don’t judge until you’ve had this dessert, which combines pretzel pieces with a cinnamon custard and salted caramel. Served in a small cast-iron skillet, it was sweet, but the salt from the pretzels and the caramel offset that sweetness nicely. In all honesty, I’m still dreaming about that dish.

A slight warning: World of Beer is not inexpensive and you may end up spending just as much on drinks as you do on food. Normally, I would have a problem with this. But I was happy to find that this is a place that takes just as much care with the food as they do with their drinks, so I would definitely recommend it.

I’d even go back at lunchtime on a work day when I couldn’t have a beer. Well, just one wouldn’t hurt, would it?

World of Beer

2819 Washington Road, Augusta

Sunday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-midnight; Friday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-2 a.m.

706-922-0146

worldofbeer.com/locations/augusta

July 2, 2016

Brewing Fun

by Amy Christian June 29, 2016

Riverwatch Brewery can claim a lot of superlatives. They are the first brewery to open in Augusta since the Prohibition era and have the only mother-daughter beer brewing team in the United States.

Since they sold their first batch of beer to local growler shops and bars in mid-April, they’ve received nothing but praise for the four styles they brew: The Scenic Overlook blonde ale, the Route 104 pale ale, the Nearest Point of Relief wheat beer and the Cautionary Tale IPA. And even in the summer heat of Augusta, mom Brey, daughter Anne and son James Sloan have been packing people in to their location in the State Farmer’s Market off Laney Walker Boulevard for the tours and tastings they offer each Friday and Saturday.

Sound like smooth sailing for the Sloans? Well, not quite.

“We got one set of tours in on Memorial Day weekend and then the state attorney general shut us down,” Brey laughed. “So we had one really good weekend and then we had to tell people they could only come if they’d already signed up.”

The problem, it seems, was that the lawyer for the Department of Agriculture, under which the family’s operation falls, became overly cautious about liability since the brewery was on state property.

“It was in the third week of that particular problem that I lost my temper because they were just messing around with us at that point,” Brey said. “It moved very quickly once I lost my temper. I kind of went Army on them.”

Now back open for tours, that “particular problem,” as Brey put it, was the latest in many obstacles the brewery has had to overcome between deciding to base their operations and make their home in Augusta in 2013 and being cleared by state and federal agencies to begin brewing in March of 2016. During that time, they’ve had difficulty finding a place to put the brewery because of zoning restrictions and space requirements and have experienced delays in federal and state licensing and brand registration.

While admitting that it’s been a frustrating process, largely due to Georgia’s draconian laws regarding craft beer production, Brey says that she doesn’t mind navigating the maze of rules and regulations if it will allow her to continue doing what she loves.

And she does love brewing beer, and has since she discovered it while in the Army.

“A long, long time ago the Army sent me off to Fort Leavenworth for a school and one of the first things they had all of us do was teach a process,” she said. “Most people chose Army processes, but one guy stood up and gave us a presentation on how to make beer. He brought all his stuff and we made a beer. It was a horrible beer, but I was hooked and so, when I came back from the school, this is when we were up at Fort Jackson, as a matter of fact, I taught my husband how to do it and we started home brewing ever since.”

The Army sent Brey and her husband all over the world, but it was when she was a defense attaché at the American embassy in Burma that she and her husband really became known for their beer. Burma, when the Sloans were there, was a military dictatorship and under international sanctions, which meant there was no beer from other countries coming in.

“The only beer you could get was the locally brewed beer, which was actually a good beer. It was every bit as good as Budweiser,” she said. “I couldn’t import beer but I could import ingredients, so we did a lot of home brewing. I did a lot of entertaining over there, and we made a lot of different kinds of beer and become well known as having the best beer in Rangoon.”

By the time the Sloans were to leave Burma for Tokyo, the country was becoming a democracy, sanctions were being lifted and businesses were coming in from other countries. A group of businessmen approached the couple and asked them if they would stay and open a microbrewery.

“The Army wouldn’t let me retire at the time, so off we went to Tokyo,” Brey said. “But that’s what gave us the idea of doing it commercially.”

The idea blossomed, so as Brey’s Army career wound down, she began to prepare for a new career by studying in Chicago, at a German brewery near Mount Fuji in Japan and in Munich, Germany.

It was then that the newly formed business idea met its first and most tragic setback.

“Part of the story is that my husband and I had planned for this entire endeavor and were going to be doing it together,” Brey said. “Unfortunately, while I was in Munich finishing up my education, he passed away. So after a couple of months of trying to get back on our feet, we sat down and decided to go ahead with this enterprise, but Anne said she would step in to do what her father was going to be doing.”

It was a pretty big jump for Anne, who admits that, up until about four years ago, she didn’t even like beer. Now, she’s a Certified Cicerone, which is to beer what a sommelier is to wine. At the brewery, her official title is director of sales and marketing, but she describes herself another way.

“I’m kind of a jack of all trades,” she laughed. “I am supposed to be the director of sales and marketing, and I do do that, but I’ve also taken up assistant brewing, so I help with all the brewing. I usually do all the keg filling and cleaning too. I don’t have much time to drink our creations. I’m either making it or sleeping these days.”

You’ll oftentimes find both mother and daughter at the weekend brewery tours, sometimes behind the bar and sometimes leading the facilities tour. Son James also helps out, although he’s set to move out of state soon. The brewery also has two part-time bartenders and an intern who will stay on as an employee once his internship ends.

And what can visitors expect from a tour? It’s pretty laid back. Once you come in and pay, you’ll receive a glass and six tickets, each ticket being good for six ounces of whatever beer you choose. There’s no set time for the facility tours although they are given fairly regularly.

“We show them the equipment and explain the process in fairly decent detail so they get a good idea of how beer is made and all the steps that go into it,” Brey said. “Then we answer their questions and bring them back in the tasting room and they can stay as long as they want to.”

The tasting room always has the brewery’s four core styles, although Brey said the Nearest Point of Relief is a summertime beer that will be replaced with something more seasonal in the fall and winter. To keep locals coming back, however, they will offer a brew that customers can’t get at growler shops or bars.

“We also do smaller batches,” Brey said, explaining that the most recent weekend featured the Keep Your Powder Dry brown ale that was very popular the previous time they featured it. “We had two kegs of it two weekends ago and I expected to have one on Friday and one on Saturday and it was all gone on Friday. Like, within two hours it was gone.”

Currently brewing is Queen Maeve Irish red ale, which they hope will be ready for the coming weekend.

“There will always be something available here that you can’t get downtown,” she said, “which hopefully will keep people coming over here to try something different.”

Riverwatch Brewery Tours
Fridays, 5-8:30 p.m
Saturdays, 1-4 p.m. and 5-8:30 p.m.
$15, including take-home tulip glass; $13, military or first responders with ID
Private parties available Tuesdays-Thursdays by advanced reservations
706-421-7177
riverwatchbrewery.com

June 29, 2016

Into the Woods

by Amy Christian June 8, 2016

Editor’s Note: We always knew Tara Wood had a big heart. Well, now the rest of the world is finding that out as well. If you don’t know, Tara’s account of her daughter Nora’s relationship with Mr. Dan, an elderly gentleman she befriended during a trip grocery store, has gone viral in the last couple of days. Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford gave her a shout out on Facebook and, right this very minute, Tara is preparing for a CNN interview. Here, then, is a story we published in June about Tara and her gigantic family, so you can get to know a little bit more about this kindhearted and foul-mouthed soul. Enjoy!

Tara Wood is known for a few things: a big heart, an even bigger family and a filthy, filthy mouth.

You may know this Columbia County mother of seven from her Facebook and blog called Love Morning Wood, which should give you an idea as to how warped her sense of humor can be. But Tara also is a devout Catholic, which she doesn’t necessarily see as being at odds with her personality.

“I did for a long long time try and fit into this box and I tried to be what I thought the good Catholic wife and mother should be,” she admitted on a recent weeknight at her kitchen table, surrounded by the laughs, cries and whines of six playing children and a nearly one-year-old baby. “I do pray and I do try to follow the tenets of the Catholic church, although I do have disagreements with a few things. But the older I got, the more I thought that there’s no one way to be a good Catholic wife and mother. I have a sailor mouth but I don’t think that negates me from being a good Catholic wife and mother.”

Far from being ashamed of it (anymore), Tara is, if not proud, at least nonchalant about her use of a well-placed F-bomb or other lowly descriptive. In fact, in a June 2 post welcoming readers to her Love Morning Wood Facebook page, she warned unsuspecting visitors of what they might see.

“Just a heads up,” she wrote. “I have a deep and profound love for salty language and am unapologetic about it, so if the words ‘fuck’, ‘bullshittery’ or ‘cock gobbler’ offend you, I invite you to unlike this page- you’ll be horrified if you stick around.”

Far from horrified, readers seemed to have embraced Tara’s no-nonsense take on motherhood and the reactions that being the mom of seven inspire in those around her.

Since she began writing, Tara has gained nearly 17,000 followers, was cast in a show called Listen to Your Mother and is now a published author, having recently submitted and had accepted an essay called “It Didn’t Go So Smoothie” in a just published book called “I Just Want to Be Perfect.” She recently signed copies of the book at local book stores.

It’s a far cry from where her adult life began, and no one seems more surprised about it than Tara herself.

“It’s really cool because it’s mine,” she said. “I can’t hire it out, nobody else can do it for me and it’s just something because, for so long, I’ve just — not just been a mother because it’s valuable — but that’s what my identity has been. But this is separate from that and sometimes I get a little wrapped up and I’m like, ‘You’re going to have to wait on that because I’ve gotta finish this post’ and that’s something I’m working on, but it’s mine and I absolutely love stepping out of my comfort zone and am doing these things that I never, ever thought I would have the balls to do.”

The story starts as most do: with a meeting. But Tara didn’t meet her husband Garrett in the most traditional way.

“I was dating his best friend,” she laughed. “So Grady Nickel and I were dating. I went to Lakeside, Grady went to Westside and we had mutual friends who thought I looked like Natalie Merchant from 10,000 Maniacs and that Grady looked like Michael Stipe and that we should date and so they sort of put us together. Grady and Garrett were very good friends and there was — not instant attraction, but over the next few months there was a magnetic pull between the two of us, but it took years for us to actually get together. We always had a thing, a flirtation.”

Eventually, that flirtation led to marriage, marriage that has lasted 21 years. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for the two. The first few years were filled with problems that kept them from starting a family.

“Yeah, there were some bumps in the road that caused us to wait for a while. We weren’t ready,” she admitted. “We were still barhopping and stuff like that so we weren’t ready to be parents before we became parents. But it was a conscious and deliberate effort that we were ready to start that part of our lives and then they just kept coming. They’re every two years.”

“They” are the kids, who she and Garrett sometimes refer to as the Woodchips. They include Juliette, 15; Bella, 12; Mia, 10; Leo, 8; Ronan, 5; Norah, 3; and Marigold, who will turn one at the end of the month. And yes, Tara can still rattle off all their names and ages “as long as birthdates aren’t involved.”

The number of children is partly due to the couple’s Catholic faith. The Woods became Catholic the same year that Juliette was born, although Garrett recalls pondering the subject many years before.

“I was 25, and one night I remember I was on the front porch by myself and I’d had, like, I don’t know, eight or nine beers I’m sure at that point, and I was just like, ‘What in the hell is all this about?’” he said. “I sat out there and pondered and said, ‘God, if you’re there, you know, give me something.’”

A few years later, Garrett and Tara were at a Mexican restaurant, drinking beer and flipping through, of all things, a copy of The Metro Spirit.

“It had a little section and it said, ‘Interested in Catholicism? Monday nights, come with your questions.’ It was real simple and we went, ‘Huh,’ he said. “And then we went, ‘Well it’s in the Spirit, which was kind of funny because it was spiritual, so we went down there and it was immediate for me. We weren’t there 15 minutes and I was like, ‘This is really cool.’”

Though neither had attended church as children, the meeting gave each of them a completely different feel from anything else they’d encountered.

“All I knew was Southern Baptist and it was hellfire and brimstone. We’re all sinners and we all suck and all that stuff,” Garrett explained. “This was just different. It was very welcoming. Here’s what we’re about. Don’t check your brain at the door, I remember them saying that that first night. Ask questions. Question everything, basically. For whatever reason, I was like, ‘I’m in.’”

Tara was as well, but for a more practical reason.

“I think we just felt a pull. We wanted something a base to have our child grow up in,” she said. “I think we both had kind of been looking for something and Catholicism sort of fit the bill for us. It’s so steeped in history. I just felt like I wanted them to have a home so that no matter where they went in the world they could find a Catholic church and they’d hear the same liturgy in Brazil as they would in Augusta, Georgia.”

The matter of faith settled, the Woods set out to follow the tenets of the church, which called for no birth control other than natural family planning.

“But I’m not good with math and stuff and keeping up with dates,” Tara laughed. “I was fortunate enough that breastfeeding kept me infertile until the next child came along, so I nursed Juliette for about 18 months and then about, I don’t know, two months later I was pregnant with Bella and every two years they just followed along.”

Besides Catholicism, there was another reason Tara and Garrett continued to have kids.

“I just kept feeling like my family wasn’t complete and I don’t know another way to say that,” she said. “I just think you know in your heart when your family is complete and I never really felt that. I could always see welcoming someone else. Like somebody was missing.”

Tara continued to feel like someone was missing, even as she got older and her pregnancies became more difficult. After Norah, she had two miscarriages and, with her last pregnancy, she said she knew if it ended in a miscarriage that was the end.

“That was just it: we were going to cap the well and our procreation days were over,” she said. “But I carried Marigold to term with much complication and got the golden ticket on that, so my uterus is in a landfill somewhere. I do feel peaceful about it. You know, Garrett’s 46 and I’m 43 in 10 days and I just feel like everybody’s here who’s supposed to be here now. I don’t feel like there’s somebody missing.”

Besides, seven is a number she can keep up with… barely.

“I don’t get as much one on one time as I would like each day, but I know them,” she said. “I have trouble remembering their birth dates sometimes, but I know their personalities, I know their wants and needs, I know what their triggers are and what they need from me and I think that if I were to have more I might struggle with that and I don’t want to. I don’t want to have children just to collect children. I value all of them and I think if I had more that I would be pulled in too many different directions. I’m happy with our little seven. That’s always been my favorite number anyway.”

Spitting out kids may have come pretty easily to Tara, but it’s taken years for her to work up the courage to do what she always admired in others: write.

A major stumbling block, she said, was that while she was a fan of the Beat Poets, William Butler Yeats and John Keats, literature was her favorite subject and she even worked at Walden Books in the mall, she hated school. She went to Augusta State University for two semesters, but eventually left to take a full-time job at a urologist’s office. She worked there from the time she was 18 until she left the work force after Bella was born in 2003.

So while Garrett was working, first as an ICU nurse, then at both his day job and a business he was starting, then, finally, just at his internet company, Tara was home with the kids.

“I fancied myself a writer, but I never did [write],” she said. “I think I mostly loved the idea of it.”

Then came Facebook. Tara began just by posted status updates with funny things her kids did and said.

“And I started getting friend requests from people I didn’t know and I was like, ‘What’s going on?’” she said. “Finally, people started messaging me and saying, ‘Hey, I work with so and so and she reads your stories to me and I wanted to see if I could follow along.’”

Finally, after writing something about being stung by a jellyfish in Charleston, a friend who was an English teacher sent her a private message. “You’re a writer,” is what it said. She didn’t believe him, but humored him by telling him she would sit down and write every day for 30 days.

One of the challenges was finding time to write when seven kids monopolized her every waking hour every single day. So she woke up ridiculously early to write, toyed with the idea of started a community Facebook page and hit upon a name that combined her last name with her early morning writing practice and the fact that she hoped people would like what she wrote.

Love Morning Wood was born.

“So I put this little wooden coffee cup as the icon and this little silly thing Leo had written as the cover photo and woke up the next day and had 75 readers. The next day I had 300 readers and it just grew. I thought maybe an aunt out of town and maybe some cousins would read it,” she said. “I started in November and said, ‘If I have a thousand readers by my birthday in June, then I’ll start a proper blog and I’ll buy a .com domain name. And I hit a thousand readers two months in advance of my birthday.”

That was in 2013 and, at lovemorningwood.com, Tara began experimenting with longer pieces. Those pieces, combined with her Facebook presence, resonated with readers and garnered her more and more attention. She’s been named one of Today’s Funniest Parents by the Today Show many times and wrote a monthly column for Metro Augusta Parent magazine.

“It was huge because I was like, ‘My kids will be able to read this. My kids’ kids will be able to read this,’” she said. “They might not think anything of it, but lots of people would love to have an article and have people be able to read your words and then come back to you and say, ‘That touched something in me’ or ‘That made me pee my pants’ or whatever.”

A big leap for Tara was when she submitted an essay for Listen to Your Mother, a show held in different cities across the country in which moms read their parenting essays in front of a live audience. She had never spoken in front of a large group before (“Not unless I have all my kids lined up on the couch and am yelling at them”) and was scared to death.

“And I told the kids, ‘Hey, I’m going to audition for the show with a piece that I’ve written and I just want you to know that I’m scared to do this but I’m doing it because I can’t tell you to jump off cliffs if I’m not willing to do it myself. I just want you to know that I’m doing it and we’ll see what happens,’” she said.

There were a mix of essays read at Listen to Your Mother in April, from sad to thoughtful to… Tara’s, which was called “Bottom’s Up.”

“I was sort of the comic relief for the show and when I was up there and I was reading and I got those first real laughs? It was immediate, it was a natural high, it was an adrenaline thing,” she said. “I never thought when I was holding my baby that I’d be checking her asshole for pinworms in 10 years. But you have to do stuff like that as a mom and if you have the ability to tell that story so that it’s not so… well, it is gross but if people go, ‘Oh my god that’s horrible but so funny’ that’s great. If you can write that way, or you can tell stories that happen every day then other mothers or dads may feel like they’re not mucking it all up and that we all make mistakes and everybody isn’t perfect and that’s okay.”

Making people laugh is Tara’s primary motivation in everything she does for public consumption, but taking the perfection out of parenting has become a close second.

“I never want to hurt anybody, but I don’t mind pissing people off a little bit or maybe ruffling some feathers,” she said. “I just try to be supportive to other people who are struggling, and sanctimommies who think they have it all figured out and they know how every parent should parent when they have no idea about different struggles people are having? I enjoy putting them in their place.”

This is the same person, however, who will pick up a woman struggling with her umbrella in the rain and give her a ride in the Wood’s 15-passenger “murder van,” which just happens to have an I Heart Pope Francis and a Happy sticker on the back. She has the support of her family, although she does run potential posts by her 15-year-old sometimes, so she’s not too concerned about what other people think about her online presence.

“It’s taken me a long time to be unapologetic about the words that I use,” she said, “but I’m a good person and I think that if people decide that I am not a good person based on some of the language that I use then that’s really their loss because I’m a good friend, I’m a good person and I try to be a decent parent.”

“You’ve lost a few people along the way,” Garrett added. “There’ve been a couple of people who think you’re not the kind of mother you should be, or the kind of Catholic mother you should be. That’s going to happen, but these weren’t good friends of ours. Our good friends, whatever their opinions are, have stuck around.”

“You know, it’s the whole you might want to remove the plank in your eye before you talk about the splinter in mine,” Tara said. “But other than that, there really haven’t been any downsides. It’s been a great experience for me. I’m in a book, I’ve got readers all over the world who are just wonderful and it’s made me braver.”

June 8, 2016