- The weather is finally warm. I won’t complain. Many will. Welcome to Augusta. It gets hot.
- You think it’s hot now? This is nothin’, y’all. It’s May. Just wait until July. If you think July’s hot, buckle up for August. Your brain might explode.
- Speaking of brain explosions, I thought it was happening to two ladies today. Two.
- I was in the parking lot for the Dollar Store on Washington Road (by Hooters!). As I passed, I stopped to let an older woman cross the parking lot to get to her car. I waited. She yelled at me. She was unhappy, screaming, and waving frantically. I motioned for her to cross in front of me, and she continued to yell GO. I thought I was being nice.
- As it turns out, the last time someone motioned for this lady to cross, in the very spot I was sitting, they revved their engine as she walked to her car. She told me this, apologetically, while she put her purchases in the trunk of her huge two-door, red, vintage Caddy. She said it scared her so much she never walks out in front of cars anymore.
- To the jerk who revved her engine at the Red Caddy Lady in the Steinmart parking lot: You’re a jerk. That’s about as nice as I can be.
- On that same day, I was actually in the Dollar Store when the elderly woman in front of me had trouble with her card. She was the sweetest lady, apologizing for the issues. She wanted to run her card as credit, but because of a miscommunication, the cashier sent it as debit. The lady explained that, because of a stroke, she was unable to remember numbers well, so she didn’t have a PIN. Mean Lady behind me, tapping your fingers and audibly sighing and groaning? You’re a jerk, too.
- Teddy, our presidential pup, is doing really well. He’s basically house trained. He rolled in a dead bird carcass yesterday. He stunk. We promptly gave him a bath in the kitchen sink.
- He hates baths.
- Our sweet old dog, Lizzy, hates baths too. She’s also terrified of thunderstorms. Apparently, thunder trumps bubble baths, because when it rains, she goes straight for the tub.
- Lizzy doesn’t love Teddy. It’s not like she hates him or anything. She has selective love. If she’s in the mood, she tolerates him. If not, well, she makes him aware of her displeasure.
- No matter Lizzy’s mood, Teddy bounces around her saying, “Be my friend be my friend be my friend,” wildly and over and over. Oh, the optimism.
- I’m optimistic they’ll be buddies someday. Giving Lizzy steak on a regular basis seems to be softening the blow.
- The Augusta Players, in its 69th year, presents “The Wizard of Oz” at the Imperial Theatre this weekend (May 9-11). If you don’t have plans and can still get tickets, go! You won’t be disappointed. The monkeys really fly!
- I happen to live with two of the munchkins, so I might be a little biased. They’re more excited about this show than any Christmas I can remember. The Boy is wearing a puffed sleeve bolero jacket made of someone’s old curtains, and the matching pants have built in hips. The Girl gets to wear green striped tights and the sweetest little flower covered hat (Oh, and a dress, too. Of course). I’ll be there opening night, front and center. Hope to see you there!
Anyone who has ever had any interactions with Barry Smith, Columbia County’s former director of Community and Leisure Services, knows one thing is for certain: he is an extremely loyal employee. He’s not the type of guy to rock the boat. He keeps his head down and works extremely hard. Smith
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