Before I get started, I’ll apologize for assuming that you live in Salem Arms. That’s where you were when you threw the rock, or whatever it was, into traffic on Windsor Spring Road last Friday night. Residents or not, I saw you running from the parking lot after I pulled over, hence the assumption. You ran away before we could formally meet. Therefore, I’m using my column this week to write you an open thank-you letter.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the driver of the vehicle that you hit with the object you threw into traffic. I assume it was a rock. I couldn’t see it as I closed my eyes to shield them from the flying glass. I’d like to thank you for showing me that I can, in fact, drive with my eyes closed. I always wondered if I could do that. It made me feel like Neo from the Matrix, if only for a few seconds.
After the initial shock of ‘WTF was that?!’ died down, anger took over. I’m not one who likes to let my emotions get the best of me, but I’ll admit, I saw red. I haven’t been that angry in a very long time. Looking back on it now, in a weird way, it kinda made me feel alive. Thank you for that.
I’d also like to thank you for answering my question. I didn’t think anyone heard me ask it, since I never actually said it out loud. The question was “What else can possibly go wrong?” I wondered it to myself after I had to check my wife into the hospital for the third time in a little over a month, which made us cancel our planned trip to the beach. I had just left a broadcast for my radio station and was headed back to the hospital when you decided to spice up your Friday night by shattering my window.
Thank you for making sure my daughter and her best friend weren’t in the car. I’m certain you were looking into the actual cars before you threw, as any responsible hooligan would. They were supposed to be with me, but again, plans got changed because I was headed straight to the hospital from work. I guess I should thank you for the fact that I wasn’t riding my motorcycle, either. I’ll take a rock to the windshield rather than a rock to the face any day!
Also, thanks for saving me some money … kinda. My initial estimate of the new windshield was around $200. As I’m sure you are aware, my family’s income has been cut in half due to the wife not working (see “hospitalization” above). That, along with the hospital bills that are piling up has us watching our budget this summer. So, I’m happy to say that I had the windshield replaced at a cost of only $180! That’s $20 that we can still use for school shopping!
Finally, thank you for reminding me why I moved away from South Augusta. Don’t get me wrong; I know that your stupidity isn’t representative of the area. In fact, I’m extremely proud of where I’m from, proud of my Butler High School diploma, and I love hanging out on the south side every chance I get. But this reminded me of why I didn’t want my kids growing up where I did. However, it’s worth admitting that it took me moving to Columbia County for my 6-year-old son’s bike to get stolen from our front yard. They didn’t get a letter, though. Because, eff them.