Banjo-B-Que is this weekend! Are you ready for it? Check out what will be going on this year with this handy-dandy guide!
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Guide to Banjo-B-Que
Time to Draft the “Kay Allen Law”
It looks like she knew the vagaries of the law enough to get away with it. Either that, or former Columbia County Tax Commissioner Kay Allen just got lucky. Phone conversations with local investigators this week, and an email from the District Attorney, confirmed what I already knew: there will
15 in 5
1. I did jinx myself last week. Everything was still great in Augusta, but when we left Chicago, there were cancellations, oversold flights and a 24-hour delay. At the time, it seemed stressful, but if that’s the worst thing that happens all summer, I’ll consider us pretty fortunate. 2. Hey, US
Female Rappers
Every now and again, we as a culture stop throwing awards at the Foo Fighters long enough to develop an obsessive, almost childlike fascination with a new female rapper. The rather infrequent timing with which we tend to do this owes, I think, to two different, nearly at-odds aspects of this
I Know What We’re Going To Do Today!
Holy Cow! What a great month for movies! First, of course, is the new Transformers movie. Okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t the best of the franchise. But what science fiction fan doesn’t love watching Optimus Prime fighting it out during a summer blockbuster? Next comes one of the greatest science
American Taxpayers: Our Fastest Growing Minority
My Tuesday evening deadline has once again killed my ability to specifically discuss the results of the big contests, but I guarantee you one thing: in these parts the overachievers concentrated their votes with conservative candidates and the folks who have largely accepted a permanent place
Cormac McCarthy’s Ghost Writes a Door County Triathlon Race Report
Early afternoon, and the white sun hung cold in a slate-colored sky as if the tip of a piece of steel was heated to the torture-point of freezing. The road ran straight and forever-seeming enough that it was like a piece of Illinois highway was ripped up and cast asunder to the north, a
It’s Just an Airport
Last Saturday, I woke up at 6:59. In the morning. On the weekend. Our kids are great sleepers, so I can’t remember the last time I had to get up that early on a Saturday. Most of you are telling me this isn’t that bad. It was. We had a 7 a.m. flight. I hopped […]
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The legions of Augusta Tek fans already know that I generally dislike video embedded into web pages. First of all, it’s just rude. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to apologize to my spouse, kids and employees for creating an interruption. Surfing the web is a private activity. Sure, you
Moronic Criminals Doing Law Enforcement’s Job for Them
An interesting fringe benefit to having what has to be the coolest job in Augusta media is that just when I think I have heard it, seen it or read it all, some group of idiots jump up and remind me why it rarely sucks to do what I do. There are actually human beings […]
World Cup Massacre
I was sitting in Gate E at Logan Airport, waiting for my plane and reading through the Apache massacre section of “Blood Meridian” when the Germany vs. Brazil World Cup semifinal game started. My wife and I had just finished eating lunch at the airport bar that boasted the terminal’s only six
Be Kind. Rewind.
My kids are always telling me I’m not old. I tend to agree with them. I’m only 37. While that might’ve seemed ancient to 20-year-old me, it’s just a number now. It’s a little strange to think about the years past since, say, high school. It can’t possibly have been almost 20 years. It doesn’t
Publicly Shaming My Kids, It’s What I Do
Spectacular embarrassment is my specialty. Ever since elementary school, I was good at embarrassing myself in astounding ways. Sometimes life likes to show me that I haven’t lost my touch. Last week I was provided the opportunity to prove that I haven’t lost my magic. I’m at
Joe Pesci Got It Wrong
If there was ever an operation that was in need of tech refresh, it has got to be the drive-thru window. In the 30-something years since they became widespread, nothing really has changed. Sure, the speakers may have better quality, and some upscale joints may have electronic signs showing your
Please Don’t Break the Ice
Tell something unusual or memorable about yourself. What’s your favorite color? If you were stranded on an island with just one thing, what would it be? Would you rather drink sour milk or eat rancid meat? Ice breakers. I think the only people who like them are seminar coordinators and
The Scope of Our Lives
Whether we realize it or not, we tend to measure the scope of our lives in events. Sometimes, these events are seemingly disconnected, held together by the common thread of their sheer historical gravity: my grandfather fought in World War II, was around when the Stock Market crashed,
The Founders Didn’t Fight for Government Agency Protocols
Good news! At least one part of the federal government is entering the 21st century. The Supreme Court is demonstrating an understanding of something that we’ve all known for a while. Whether it’s on paper, in our phones or in the cloud, our data is OUR DATA! This past week, the Supreme Court
The Ever-Shrinking Buffer Zone
After about 15 years’ procrastination, I’m finally reading “The Stand.” I’m not sure why I resisted actually tackling the book for so long. Its length doesn’t bother me; I’ve read denser stuff in graduate school. Likewise, the horror, to my palate, comes across as fairly muted; it’s harrowing
15 in 5
1. Every year I say it, and every year I mean it: how are we already in July? Summer break is halfway over. Summer break isn’t long enough. 2. We’ve been as lazy as promised. Lazy has such a negative connotation. I prefer “relaxed.” 3. Like soccer (futbol) or not, having an American team do
James Brown for Dummies
We are just six weeks away from the premiere of the amazing new James Brown biopic that through its preview trailers has taken the entertainment world by storm. I will go on record now as predicting major box office success for the picture, as well as Academy Award nominations for several of
Raging Storms
About a week ago, I sat in my living room on the third story of our apartment building in a quiet suburb of Madison, drinking coffee, watching World Cup highlights and listening to a tornado siren caterwauling. I don’t know whether it was the fact that I’d closed the bar the night before and