Is that smell you or me?

AUGUSTA, GA. - If Bart Simpson was a real person, he’d be 26 years old and then what would you think of his nude scenes? D’oh! You’d laugh like Homer.

 

Homer and the crew have finally gotten their big break on the big screen. No longer is America’s favorite bright yellow middle-class family confined to the boob tube. Creators Matt Groening and James L. Brooks have given Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie and their quirky crew of cohorts 90 minutes to impress the cinematic universe.

“The Simpsons Movie” takes the socially charged ribbing and good-natured fun from the hugely popular TV series and milks it for some honest box-office dough. D’oh! This crew of jokers never seems to get old, literally. The characters have not aged a bit since they first appeared on screen in 1989.

 

Think of it this way, if Bart was about 8 years old when the show began, he would technically be 26 years old today. That kind of puts a different spin on his nude scene.

Locals who filled extra roles in “Who’s Your Caddy” will anxiously pack the theater to watch Outkast member Big Boi play a rap mogul who has a rough time getting into a snooty Aiken country club. Unfortunately, the rest of the country will not share your enthusiasm. This movie is a low-concept bore.

Lindsay Lohan is a horrible actress and she has an uncanny way of bringing even the finest actors down with her. This time Lohan’s co-stars are Neil McDonough and Julia Ormond, but even their talents cannot help hide Lohan’s mannish voice and unfeeling performance in “I Know Who Killed Me.”

 

Here’s an interesting plot twist: Maybe Lohan’s character isn’t dead, she’s just in rehab again.

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones returns to the big screen after a stay-at-home-mom absence. She appears with Aaron Eckhart and “Little Miss Sunshine” star Abigail Breslin in “No Reservations.” Unfortunately, Anthony Bourdain is nowhere to be found.

Zeta-Jones’ character is a egotistical chef who is forced to grow up when she gains custody of her young niece, a role that allows her to quietly and uneventfully re-enter the theatrical world.

 

Thursday night brings Thirsty Thursday Rock ‘n’ Roll Movies to the Imperial Theatre. Tickets are $2, plus $1 for a wristband that allows you to consume adult beverages at their 7 p.m. happy hour. This week the series will have Val Kilmer doing his best Jim Morrison impression in director Oliver Stone’s “The Doors.” Thirsty Thursday is presented in partnership with the Cotton Patch.

 

Gwen Fulcher Young and Associates’ “Movies Under the Stars” returns for its finale this season with a screening of “Night at the Museum,” starring Ben Stiller. The film concludes the series’ run at the Columbia County Amphitheater. Tickets are $1 for the dusk screening, with all proceeds benefiting MCG Children’s Medical Center.

 

Free Movie Monday at the Augusta Headquarters Library will screen the recently released true spy drama, “Breach” at 6:30 p.m. The film stars Ryan Phillippe, Chris Cooper and Laura Linney in a story chronicling the unpatriotic ways of FBI agent Robert Hanssen, who caused the largest security breach in U.S. history.

Watch Metro Spirit film critic Mariah Gardner’s movie review Friday night. You can see it on the 10 p.m. news on The CW Augusta.