I Know What We’re Going To Do Today!

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I Know What We’re Going To Do Today!

Holy Cow! What a great month for movies!

First, of course, is the new Transformers movie. Okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t the best of the franchise. But what science fiction fan doesn’t love watching Optimus Prime fighting it out during a summer blockbuster?

Next comes one of the greatest science fiction plots of all time. The franchise has come a long way since Charlton Heston discovered that a new, intelligent race had replaced humans. This year’s offering continues the journey of Ceasar to his destiny.

And this past weekend we are all introduced to “Lucy.” We’ve all been waiting months for this movie. (Still waiting, actually — a hot day at the lake trumps the movies, unless of course we’re going to see “Maleficent.” Again.) The previews tease at the transformation of the lovely Ms. Scarlet into a Matrix-mastering femme fatale that puts Neo to shame.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve always been a Keanu Reeves fan. While I was in college, Bill & Ted was one of my favorite movies. To this day, I’ll stop flipping channels if I happen upon “Point Break” or “Speed.” But when it comes to “Lucy,” let’s just be honest. Keanu is no Scarlett Johansson.

Also the past weekend, The Rock showed up dressed as Hercules. Not awful… I see how that can work. Now, if Cameron Diaz had shown up as Xena instead of doing that “Sex Tape” mess… that would have been a classic worthy of “Sharknado” status!

BTW — Did anyone go to a “Sharknado” party Wednesday night? It’s Okay, you can admit it. We’re all friends here. Tweet us some pictures. #SharknadoAugusta

Finally, for the last week of summer vacation***, we’ve got one more release to go. This weekend, no doubt that most of Augusta will be trying to see “Get On Up.” That’s a respectable choice. On the other hand, I’ll be in the line with the nerds waiting to see “Guardians of the Galaxy.”

***BTW — When did the last week of July become the last week of summer? I’m officially going on record to say, “This is nuts!” There’s still a full month of 100-degree temperatures, crappy summer jobs, rocking trips to the beach and random and assorted other goofing off to do.

According to Phineas and Ferb, there are 104 days of summer vacation. And as they rightly point out, school comes along just to end it. Working off the Columbia County calendar, if you back up from 104 days from August 7, the last day of school should have been on April 25. Well, we all know that didn’t happen. By my estimation, CSRA students deserve at least another three or four weeks of summer vacation.

One last major release occurred this month that’s worth mentioning. We’ve all seen the countless numbers of “Star Wars” parodies. From the classic Mel Brooks movie “Spaceballs” to the COPS take-off called “TROOPS” to the more recent parodies by Robot Chicken and Family Guy, the number of “Star Wars” spoofs greatly exceeds the content of the original movies.

But wait, there’s more. Disney released another sure-to-be-classic spoof of the “Star Wars” story. No, it’s not Mickey and Minnie, but rather the resourceful and kind-hearted Phineas and Ferb. In a twist from the classic parodies, the brothers are not cast as the Star Wars heroes. Phineas and Ferb are the happy and content neighbors of Luke Skywalker, enjoying the endless summer of Tattonine. Unfortunately, they get caught up in the high drama of the fight between the Empire and the Rebel Alliance. Darth Vader may have crushed the Rebellion if it weren’t for a couple of key encounters with Phineas, Ferb and their friends.

Until next time…

@gregory_a_baker