Something for everyone during the Olympics

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Something for everyone during the Olympics

The Olympics are starting this week. I love the Olympics. It’s especially helpful when the games are in a time zone opposite ours. There’s always something to watch — even in the middle of the night. If you don’t like sports, surely you can find something to entertain you. This isn’t to say that every person competing isn’t an athlete (trust me), but try thinking of each event in a different way.

Do you like fashion? Figure skating’s your thing. If men in tights don’t float your boat, rest assured. Their pants are much looser than they used to be. These aren’t the leotards of the ’70s. Swarovski crystals, lace, draped sheer fabrics, racy cutouts and more will be seen on the icy runway. Don’t forget about the Kerrigan/Harding rivalry from years ago. It was like a Lifetime movie out there. Look for drama. This year, for the first time, there we’ll see team figure skating. I’m not sure what that means, exactly, but I like to believe that more is always merrier.

Is your movie philosophy “more violence equals more better?” Hockey. Go for hockey. They fight in hockey. Most bang-em-up-shoot-em-up flicks have a hot main character. Well, as long as the male hockey players have their teeth in, they ain’t hard on the eyes, either. Hockey can get a little confusing with the off-sides rules and penalty cards, but the rules aren’t entirely necessary. Watch for tripping with sticks and slamming of plexiglass.

Want to try something new? You’ll love curling. Seriously. Most of you’ve probably heard of it by now, but it’s relatively new to the Olympic scene. I should clarify. It’s new to the popular Olympic scene. The sport itself is rumored to date back to medieval times, and it was first an official Olympic sport in 1998. Regardless of its history, curling is a fascinating sport. If you’ve never given it a chance, please do. I’d do a little Google tutorial first, or you’ll think I’m nuts. What looks like ice-cleaning is so much more. Besides, the Spirit of Curling, which relies on good sportsmanship, says the losing team buys the winners a drink. Sold. Oh yeah. Should you be interested in fashion, like the figure skating fans mentioned above, turn a blind eye when it comes to curling. From khakis and a golf shirt to country flag inspired suits, curlers aren’t known for their sense of style.

Otherwise, the opening ceremonies are a spectacle, with fireworks, faux fur coats and crowds doing the wave. If you ask me, which you actually didn’t, they’re a little long. Last year, I missed the U.S. entirely. It was late. Downhill skiing seems dangerous and reckless, but it’s equally as thrilling. Kind of like the scariest roller coaster you’ve ridden, but with the fear of ripping apart your knees. Speed skating is graceful and cross country skiing takes forever. There are a large number of injuries in the bobsled and luge events, and the snowboard hardly feels like an official sport (though again, yes, they are athletes). See? Something for everyone.

Regardless of what you like, tune in for a minute at least. The Games only happen every two years. The world comes together and gets along — relatively well — for two whole weeks.

Speaking of the world, I have one thing to say about the Coca-Cola commercial that has so many of you all fired up. I’ve watch it a couple of times now, and I can’t get mad. I respect y’all’s opinion. I’ve tried. Even those who’d think I’m stupid for not reacting. It’s a pretty song about our great country, sung by people who speak a bunch of other languages. It’s not our national anthem. What’s wrong all sorts of folks thinking America’s beautiful? Not much, really. Besides, who cares? If you want to drink Pepsi because you like it better, then you’re crazy. Coke is delicious. If you’re trying to make a big political statement, it’s gonna take more than that. Can’t decide what to do after all? Drink wine instead. Cheers!

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