Several years ago, I talked to y’all about technology. I felt as if technology was turning us all in to sucky people.
We don’t write thank you notes.
We don’t converse like we used to.
Instant gratification is required. If it’s not obtained, things like “hellooooooo” and “did you get my text?” happen.
People don’t read books or newspapers as much anymore. How many of your kids know the old book smell? I still wholeheartedly feel the same way.
Technology has changed us, and we are mostly lazier, suckier people because of it.
I was (a little) wrong.
We’ve had Siri and Alexa. I think most of you have. We can ask them anything, and Alexa will turn on our TV. Alexa will look up a recipe for me while I’m cooking, and covert measurements for me if I can’t find a tablespoon. Definitely cool. Mostly unnecessary. I love a part map when traveling, but GPS and now map apps have replaced the impossible to fold maps. Let’s have a moment of silence for the Rand McNallly atlas. It was my favorite thing to read on road trips as a child.
Waze and Google Maps and everything else do make travel easier. I think the Waze lady is a little too detailed, though, what with her “hazard on shoulder ahead” warnings. Sometimes, it’s the prisoners’ trash bags, left on the side of the road for a later pickup. When there’s a trash bag every 50 feet or so, our whole car is “OKAY LADY.” If you’ve been stuck in that traffic on I-20 between here and Atlanta, you only have yourself to blame. The Waze lady knows a shortcut.
We’ve discussed cutting cable. Cable free for 1.5 years and not a single reason to go back. I can watch anything I want, at any time, on my phone, TV, computer or whatever. I’m sure holograms are just around the corner. Now, we think it’s confusing when someone is talking on their bluetooth thingy. “You talking to me, man?” Nope. Bluetooth. Imagine if, one day, we can watch what we want via holograms in the air. “You lookin’ at me, man?” Nope. Stranger Things, season two.
My favorite tech upgrade is smart lights. The Boy wanted them for a few weeks, and I couldn’t see the appeal. Okay, I take that back. I couldn’t see the practical appeal. They change colors, and you talk to Siri or Alexa, telling them what color you want based on your mood or activities. Remember those timers we used to have for lamps when we went out of town? You’d plug the lamp into it and it’d turn on and off whenever you wanted. These smart lights are controlled by your phone, y’all. I’m more amazed than I should be, and any real tech people out there probably think I’m lame. Don’t care. The lights in my house come on when I’m on the way home. They know when I’m on the way home.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that someday, we won’t have to do anything at all. We already have robot vacuums, thermostats controlled by our phone, smart fridges, and just about anything comes with a touch screen I can talk to. I haven’t figured out a way to get Alexa to do the laundry or open a bottle of wine, but I’m working on it.
You think she’ll go to the gym for me, too?